The latest episode of “Girls” reads sort of like a 20-something sexual PSA. HPV, safe sex, virgins and temptation are all the rage!
“I’ve got HPV,” could have been uttered while looking into the camera. Only nervous puffs of a cigarette were missing from Hannah’s storyline this week where it is revealed that she has HPV. Of course accusations fly about where this pesky persona non-grata came from: Either her shitty current boyfriend or her shitty former flame. Neat!
Her shitty current boyfriend says he didn’t give it to her because he already got tested (Liar! Because there is no general test for all kinds of HPV), so Hannah contacts her college boyfriend to let him know/accuse him of giving it to her, but since there is no test, she doesn’t really know where it comes from. On top of the HPV mystery (new Nancy Drew-inspired series idea?) her ex-boyfriend reveals that he’s gay, which is probably one of the worst things anyone could ever hear about their ex, male or female. Awkward sexual memories flooding back, deception and feelings of inadequacy are never fun, especially when you have HPV.
Jessa gets a babysitting job and smokes pot with the dad. Not quite how I remember babysitting, but that was 8th grade and I didn’t know what weed was.
The virgin thing comes up again with Shoshana. Being a virgin in your 20s must be nerve-wracking and annoying due to the whispered and dead-serious tone she always takes. It’s like she’s admitting to murdering someone every time she says it. She also spills that Jessa, like Hannah, has HPV. Except that Jessa has a couple different strains, because”All adventurous women do.” Confusingly inspired.
I wish Shoshanna would get some more air time, because the actress plays the part really well. She’s endearing and funny, and everyone has a friend like her. If you don’t, then ew. I could use more Shoshana storyline time than Marnie for sure.
Which gets us to Marnie. She hates her boyfriend so much, it’s hard to watch. I get that people get comfortable in relationships, but good god. Her bf shaved his head and as a surprise revealed it to Marnie. She fucking hated it, but I’m pretty sure she hates his face anyways and would hate anything on him, even the biggest diamond and creme brulee in the world. He then told her that he shaved his head to support a coworker with cancer, which prompts Marnie to yell at him for “making her look like a bitch.” Yeah. That’s what made you a bitch.
Later on, at her hipper-than-hip job at an art gallery, she meets some pretentious and short artist who is the dick she always dreamed of and everything her sweet boyfriend is not. He tells her “to not give as much of a shit” about things which is so condescending and lame but she fucking loves it. They go on a quick walk during the show in which there is a lot of sexual tension that drives Marnie to masturbating, standing up (what a feat!) in the bathroom during the art show. Weird.
This episode pretty much only redeemed itself when Robyn’s “Dancing On My Own” came on. Hannah and Marnie start dancing despite their shitty and weird days which was the only realistic part in a show that’s supposed to be “crazy real.” Here’s hoping the show gets better and the story-lines thicken up a little bit, or I think this show is gonna go away faster than Jessa’s pregnancy/miscarriage from episode 2 that was never spoken of again!