Flavorwire » The Five-Pronged Joseph Gordon-Levitt Likability Index.
Infuriation: Celebrity marriages and divorces
EVIDENCE:
- Demi Moore is in the hospital while Ashton Kutcher is drunk and partying at fashion shows and a Florence + the Machine concert in Brazil. (What the fuck is wrong with Ashton Kutcher. He’s gross.)
- Kim Kardashian will reveal the moment she broke things off with Kris Humphries this Sunday on E!
- Tabloids are making things up left and right and Katy Perry and Russell Brand: Sex addictions, drinking problems, tell-all books, etc.
Breakups are super gross, for real. But the divorce rate in Hollywood disgusts me. It’s nearly every week some other marginally talented celebrity is getting press because their relationship is crumbling due to crazy infidelity, or the fact that they didn’t really know each other in the first place.
Can you imagine MARRYING someone you had only known for a year? Let alone six months? I’ve had iffy relationships with crappy hair dryers longer than some celebrities get married and divorced.
Relationships and marriage are very, very hard work. I won’t sit here and judge people who couldn’t honestly work out their differences and decided to get a quiet divorce. But when real-life marriage and divorce seems like little more than something to fill the tabloids and get a quick paycheck, one starts to wonder what the real motives are behind these fanatical relationships in Hollywood. (COUGH COUGH Kim Kardashian!)
This story line is SO played out, Hollywood. Like, shitty Katherine Heigl romantic comedy played out. Can’t we go back to plastic surgery accusations or something? It’s a little less soul-crushing than constant divorce battles.
What do you think about marriage in Hollywood?
Celebrité: Selena Gomez goes to the Congo
Can we get a Disney special out of this please?!
Selena Gomez will be going to the Democratic Republic of Congo as UNICEF ambassador sometime in April. Her previous work as a UNICEF ambassador sent her to Ghana and Valparaíso, Chile to promote early childhood development and awareness. Yay for her!
I really wanna see Selena Gomez make volunteering and social awareness something cool to do with the crazy kids and tweens of the day. Wouldn’t that be amazing? Her, maybe Justin Beiber, and a concert/documentary event on the Congo. Show that to a bunch of annoying teens who thought they were going to scream their lungs out to “Baby” instead being mortified at how not-first world some people live. Maybe they (and some young adults) would stop being upset about not having $500 iPads.
Kudos to Selena for doing something positive with her celebrité!! Now if she can only get an MTV or Disney TV specials to inspire her legions of followers to do good. There’s GOTTA be a way to market volunteering and humanitarian awareness to screaming, hormone-crazed teens. Wouldn’t it be great if kids and teens were throwing tantrums over their parents not donating enough to poverty and famine in Africa?! Probably in a billion years. But Never Say Never.
Celebrité: Britney Spears will control her life once more
We all remember when our sweet Britney Spears went a little nuts circa Kevin Federline and two babies. She spoke in a British accent, hung out with some people who were allegedly drugging her and shaved her head (AND, in my opinion, consequently made the best album of her career Blackout.)
Anyways, on the account that she is worth millions of dollars and needed someone to take care of her, Brit’s papa Jamie Spears was granted control of her conservatorship back in 2008. (This still brings a tear to my eye! Can you imagine a world without Britney Spears in it?! Hello apocalypse.)
However, with her recent engagement to former manager Jason Trawick, Jamie has planned to ask the judge overseeing the case to end the conservatorship based on how far Britney has come in the 5 years since the conservatorship was set in place.
This is amazing! Brit has definitely done a lot in the past 5 years, including raising two children, releasing two albums (after Blackout) and going on two world tours! It’s also nice that she’s marrying someone who isn’t a total turdface famewhore. People in Hollywood are weird. Which isn’t a dig at Federline, as you probably remember a time when he was considered the responsible parent and had to overhaul taking care of Jayden James and Sean Preston. Talk about twilight zone.
Yay for Britney. We’ve grown up with her since 1998 when she released …Baby One More Time. That’s a 14 year relationship. That should warrant an invite to the wedding, or at least a live special. But we understand if she doesn’t.
LOVE YOU BRITNEY!
Movies: The OSCARS
I am a total Academy Awards slut. I LOVE the show. The outfits, the epicness of the whole night and watching actors win (and lose gracefully as they practiced in the mirror with their publicist) is highly entertaining. Can you believe this is Meryl Streep’s 17th nomination?! She is the fucking queen of cinema and acting. Amazing. Phenomenal. Best of all time.
I also have to admit that I’m a huge loser as I have only seen one of the best picture nominations, Midnight in Paris. Don’t worry, I’m judging myself too for not seeing “The Help” yet. I’m pretty much the worst person alive.
I’m SO happy for Brad Pitt. He deserves some recognition. I’m pretty sure Jean Dujardin is gonna win though. And Clooney! Who doesn’ love a Clooney nomination?! Jonah Hill and Melissa McCarthy are awesome nominations as well, just because I like them so much.
I really hope either Midnight in Paris or Bridesmaids wins for Best Original Screenplay. They were both amazing a refreshing films. Hollywood needs to stop being so lame about threequels and fourquels and invest in some great writing talent!
I put a star next to the person/movie/costume I’d like to win just because. Some I just can’t decide, so there are two… or three stars. Because choosing between favorites is just plain cruel.
And the nominees are…
Best Picture
The Artist
The Descendants
Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close
Hugo
Midnight in Paris *
The Help
Moneyball
War Horse
The Tree of Life
Best Actress
Glenn Close, Albert Nobbs
Viola Davis, The Help
Rooney Mara, Girl With the Dragon Tattoo
Meryl Streep, The Iron Lady *
Michelle Williams, My Week With Marilyn *
Best Actor
Demian Bachir, A Better Life
George Clooney, The Descendants *
Jean Dujardin, The Artist
Gary Oldman, Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy *
Brad Pitt, Moneyball *
Best Supporting Actor
Kenneth Branagh, My Week With Marilyn
Jonah Hill, Moneyball *
Christopher Plummer, Beginners
Nick Nolte, Warrior
Max von Sydow, Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close
Best Supporting Actress
Berenice Bejo, The Artist
Jessica Chastain, The Help
Melissa McCarthy, Bridesmaids *
Janet McTeer, Albert Nobbs
Octavia Spencer, The Help
Best Director
Michel Hazanavicius, The Artist
Alexander Payne, The Descendants
Martin Scorsese, Hugo
Terrence Malick, Tree of Life
Woody Allen, Midnight in Paris *
Best Original Screenplay
The Artist
Bridesmaids
Margin Call
Midnight in Paris *
A Separation
Best Adapted Screenplay
The Descendants
Hugo *
The Ides of March
Moneyball
Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy
Best Animated Feature
A Cat in Paris *
Chico & Rita
Kung Fu Panda 2
Puss in Boots
Rango
Art Direction
The Artist
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows -Part 2 * (HP 4 EVA)
Hugo
War Horse
Costume Design
Anonymous
The Artist *
Hugo
Jane Eyre
W.E.
Original Song
“Man or Muppet” from The Muppets * (This HAS to win)
“Real in Rio” from Rio
Dating: Alexa Chung on Chelsea Lately
Alexa Chung was a recent guest on Chelsea Lately, promoting her new show ’24 hour Catwalk’. Ross Mathews, who is doing a great job of host-replacement btw, revealed that Alexa Chung is on the prowl. She jokingly admitted to accepting dates over Twitter. Oh boy.
The stylish Chung, and former MTV host (I liked ‘It’s On’, damn you MTV!) used to date Arctic Monkeys front man Alex Turner. But they broke up in July 2011. Whatevs, frontmen seem like a lot of work anyways. Divas!
This tweet, surely to be one of many, is a charming peek into the world of dating through the internet:
How wonderful! Dating rocks.
Chung’s new show, 24 Hour Catwalk, looks interesting. I don’t normally watch reality or competition shows, but I might actually give this one a try. The contestants have 24 hours to make weird shit look fashionable. It sounds exactly like poor, 20 somethings digging through years of fashion mistakes, trying to make something look chic.
Check out obsessive Alexa Chung fashion photos here.
Chelsea is on fire
By the by, Chelsea Handler is blowing the fuck up. Chelsea Lately and After Chelsea on E! are getting better and better. After Chelsea is getting some sick cameos like Reese Witherspoon, Jennifer Aniston and Jane Fonda. Plus her show on NBC ‘Are You There, Chelsea?‘ is doing okay I think. I haven’t checked it out yet.
AND Chelsea is in a new movie with Reese Witherspoon called “This Means War” that looks promising. Two hot spies are fighting over Reese Witherspoon, blowing shit up and lots of kissing. That’s like my dream. Jealz!
Rumour has it: Madonna to kiss Nicki Minaj at Superbowl
Oh sweet Madge.
Rumour has it Madonna and Nicki Minaj are going to smooch it up during the Superbowl XLVI halftime show. Almost a decade after Madonna’s kiss with Britney and Christina Aguilera, (which got cut while they panned to Justin Timberlake’s face. Xtina has the worst luck) what’s the point of keeping this schtick up?
Madonna is known for reinventing herself time and time again, and doing that successfully. She began performing in 1979 and her career is entering into its fourth decade with the release of her upcoming 12th studio album MDNA (genius name). Her long career and habit of restarting her character with every album is why the rumored kiss is less shocking and more “really, again Madonna? This doesn’t sound like you!”
Let’s hope this is just a rumor. Madonna is THE living pop legend, and they are both talented and beautiful women. But this move should stay where it belongs: In the 2003 VMA archives. (This video brings a tear to my eye, I miss the pre-meltdown Britney and Christina! And where the F is Missy Eliot?!)
On the fence: The Kardashians
Kardashian over-saturation hit an all-time high in 2011 with Kim’s 72-day marriage and subsequent divorce from Minnesotan basketball player Kris Humphries. The is-it-or-isn’t-it PR move has given the Kardashians higher ratings and a less-than-favorable public opinion. 
My favorite Kardashian oscillates between Kourtney and Khloe. Kourtney has great style and has the zen-like attitude of not giving a shit about any drama that goes on with her sisters. And Khloe is hilarious.
But the Kardashians as a whole have more than a few smudges on their record.
The Evidence
Kim and Ray J film a sex tape, and then profit off of it. It also skyrockets her into the media as the new Paris Hilton. -3
The Kardashians aren’t known for being drunks, drug users or extreme hot messes. +1
They are business women. And in the world of reality TV shows, being successful at something is a HUGE accomplishment. +1
The Kardashians will promote ANYTHING. -1
Kourtney and Scott’s relationship is rocky and weird at times, but they have a child together and keep working on their relationship. In the day and age of the quickie marriage and divorce (Kim!), these two unmarried people show that real commitment and hard work goes into staying together. +2
Kim took a shit on the state of Minnesota. BOO! -1
Reports of their clothing lines being made by children working in sweatshops. They claimed to be none the wiser, which is probably bullshit. Nothing gets by Kris Jenner. -2
The Score
As much as I like Kourtney and Khloe, the Kardashians come out with a -3. They’ve got a lot of work to do if they want to keep their empire on the move. I suggest ditch the child labor; make your clothes in the states! Even if they’re more expensive, everyone loves homemade goods. A little social consciousness goes a long way. Keep the midwest bashing to a minimum, Kim. Minnesota is awesome. And make sure you know everything about the products you promote!
What do you think about the Kardashians?
Editor’s Note: They have health body images. +1
Follow 20poorandfabulous on Facebook and Pinterest. Just do it. Do it for the Kardashians. They want you to. They told me. Khloe’s here now.
This is cool: Les Jeunes de Paris
Yelle + SNL + Emma Stone
Celebrité: Blossom’s Jenna Von Oy is pregnant
Jenna Von Oy, or Six from Blossom was reported as pregz with her first babay. Slow news day, E!?
PS Joey Lawrence reeeeeally shouldn’t have plucked his eyebrows. Bad mistake for any man.
2PF 
