Britney released the video for her latest single, “Work Bitch” and it’s a step in a good direction. In the vid, Britster moves her legs way more in the dance scenes than in past videos of recent history. See “Till the World Ends” for the modern Britney arm wave dance-like reference. So yeah, this is pretty huge, folks. I can’t help but think every single time I see her perform in a video or live that her dancing just isn’t there anymore. But in this video, her dancing is creeping back to almost good again. As you may or may not know, in 2004 Ms. B broke her knee on the set of the video for “Outrageous,” thus leading into the downward spiral we all sort of lovingly remember. In the knee breaking video, you can see how FUCKING AWESOME she was moving. But she just can’t do it like she used to. Of course I feel like a shit fan for wishing and hoping she would dance like the old days.
Hope is such a dangerous drug.
“Work Bitch” also raises important societal questions like:
Will Britney’s new song inspire millions of people to work?
Will everyone who has been avoiding the gym finally get out of their laptop/couch coma and get to sweatin’?
Will Congress finally get their shit together after a Britney dance party?
This is my favorite thing on the internet
Let’s hope so. I know I’ve gotten through some weird times by listening to Britney. There’s something ethereal and existentially comforting about listening to a woman ask a stranger to fuck her in the back room of the club, all over super hot club beats. The air of “Fuck it” and “Imma get what I want!” is so inspiring. When you’re knee deep in quarter-life crisis, it’s important to have Britney there as a reminder that you REALLY, REALLY can make it through anything.
CAN a pop song inspire a nation to quit being lazy shitbags on a personal and professional level and “Work Bitch”? Time will only tell if our Godney will deliver us from evil.
GOD DAMN I LOVE THIS SONG. Minneapolis wundergal Caroline Smith is gearing up to release her latest album titled “Half About Being a Woman.” And it’s gonna be killer. Like, this chick is blowin’ up killer. Because if you haven’t heard of her yet, holy shit. She’s about to blow your world. She has a show on the 27th of Sept. at First Avenue in MPLS, otherwise I’m sure she’ll be on tour in a city near you soon. You’ll wanna see it.
The first time I saw her live was 8 years ago when we were all in college, at the 400 bar. She had hand written CDs and gave me one fo’ free cuz I was cash poor/my friend was dating her friend. My favorite song from that (I think) first little album was “Clench My Teeth.” Very folky, very pretty. I am so proud of her, not only because she’s fucking awesome but also because she’s an awesome part of the music scene in the good ol’ MSP. AND I’m also excited to see where her career goes from here, because I have a feeling its gonna be amazing!!
Def check out her new album when its out, which is I believe Sept. 27. YAY!!!!!
Here is a comp I found on Youtube that was suggested after watching “ashlee simpson singing live” videos.
BRITNEY ROCKS 4 EVER.
I happened upon this marvelous B Spears vid after torturing myself by watching a ton of Ashlee Simpson live performance videos. Because, you know, I wanted to remind myself that I once loved Ashlee Simpson, drove an hour and a half to meet her AND got her autograph. To this day it remains my darkest pop culture hour.
But for real. Ashlee Simpson. Could America could have crafted a less compelling performer? Like, to start, bitch doesn’t even have good style. She was like a watered down pop version of a pretty attractive, “i like 2 ware black n dark green cuz its edgy and my sister is a pretty blonde singar so i gotta stand out sum how,” pretending to be emo because of market trends, dad hooks up everything cuz he’s a closet gay minister and gays have weird powers, hot topic loving kind of gal, which is probably just the most embarrassing thing I’ve ever seen in my life. She must be just the most vapid and undeserved person in Hollywood, because everything was without a doubt handed to her. There’s one thing to be a pop star who follows the trends and gives the audience what they want to hear and see. It’s another to expect that your audience will follow your weird, manufactured “punk” persona and shitty music because of your formerly B+ famous family. People posing as punks are so fucking lame, because it’s not even that hard to be a punk. That’s how dumb her career was.
The only thing she really ever earned was all the times she got booed for being a shitty performer. She also married Pete Wentz, who is kind of annoying on Twitter so you can only imagine how annoying they must have been IRL together. *shudders*
You can even see her “A” for Ashlee in an anarchy symbol. Hahahahahaah WUT?! Nobody performing at a televised half time show for a football game is an anarchist. Take a shit on stage at a televised half time show screaming “WE ARE ALL SHIT” while setting a football player on fire and you’ve got yourself a genuine moment of anarchy brought to you by MTV. She wasn’t even trying!
What a horrible pock on the last decade in American pop culture. Music industry Gods willing this lady never puts out another single, EVER.
One day, while my daughter was happily distracted in her own marker drawings, I decided to risk pulling out a new sketchbook I had special ordered. It had dark paper, and was perfect for adding highlights to. I had only drawn a little in it, and was anxious to try it again, but knowing our daughter’s love of art supplies, it meant that if I wasn’t sly enough, I might have to share. (Note: I’m all about kid’s crafts, but when it comes to my own art projects, I don’t like to share.) Since she was engrossed in her own project, I thought I might be able to pull it off.
Ahhh, I should’ve known better. No longer had I drawn my first face (I love drawing from old black & white movie stills) had she swooped over to me with an intense look. “OOOH! Is that a NEW…
Here is the trailer for “All the Wrong Reasons,” the last film of GLEE sta Cory Monteith. It looks really good too. An indie flick about how shitty life can be but also how it can be cool. HEY, THAT’S LIKE RILL LIFE! But sadsies to see someone in a film that looks great who has passed away before the film was released. Bittersweet to say the least.
Kevin Zegers is also in this movie, who was the main kid in the first Air Bud movie. That’s all I think about when I look at him, but he’s had a pretty impressive film career since then. I guess shooting hoops with an amazing dog is a great way to start ANY career, amirite?!
I am sick of celebrities, random twitter and my dad saying that the Kardashians are stupid. Or bullshit. Or talentless. Or whores. Just stop it already. I am floored that people like Katie Couric, who are ALSO intelligent entertainment and business talents, don’t realize why the Kardashians are famous. Really?! REALLY. Have you ever seen their show, Ms. Couric? Do you not realize how opportunity mixed with insanely smart marketing, naturally entertaining personalities and EIGHT SEASONS of a successful reality show made this family famous and a household name? REALLY?!
You know what, Katie Couric and everyone else who hates the Kardashians? They are awesome. I have seen every episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians and their spinoffs, Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami and Kourtney and Kim Take New Yorkand I (along with my kool friends) have loved every minute of the rich, beautiful and super dysfunctional family drama. It’s like a modernized version of a soap opera where the characters live on forever on screen and in the pages of our real life magazines. Talk about some meta as fuck, never-ending performance art.
And really, you don’t have to like them. That’s not what I’m writing about. But can we put an end to the tired “Why are they famous?” question? This is why they’re famous and super awesome:
Kim Kardashian made a sex tape. And? A) quit shaming women for having sex and seeking kinky pleasure. We R ppl with sex parts 2. It’s boring, rude and misogynistic. Get. Over. This. One moment in time defines no one. B) who cares, this country is obsessed with sex anyways, so why not take advantage of a leaked/distributed sex tape to launch your career? Opportunity people. Take an unfortunate thing and turn it into a fortunate thing. This is like, success 101. C) If you haven’t taken naked selfies I feel bad for you son / you got 99 problems and naked pics is one.
dat biz
They are business women. Long before the sex tape release, the Kardashians ran a small business-and still do. Their chic fashion boutiques called D-A-S-H first opened in Calabasas, CA in 2006. The stores are owned and operated by Kourtney, Khloe and Kim. They now have stores in Miami and New York City. D-A-S-H is also the underlying story line of the first couple of season of KUWTK and the main reason for the spinoff season in Miami and New York. It’s cool to see young women in their 20s owning and operating their own store. Dare I say it’s inspirational for young girls to see a group of young, hip, beautiful women successfully running a small business?
Their family is dysfunctional as fuck, blended and beautiful.When Brody confronted Kris about her materialistic lifestyle and why he wasn’t included as much in their family as a child.
Really, what family isn’t dysfunctional? There’s like a billion kids in the Kardashian/Jenner family due to marriage, divorce, marriage, children, half siblings, step kids, etc. This probably looks waaaay more like the modern American family more so than parents who have been married since high school and have 2.5 kids. The show doesn’t shy away from the more awkward moments of family dynamics, like when Khloe’s biological father mystery was brought into question, or when Bruce’s sons from his second marriage (Brody and Brandon) began to vocalize why they felt they were never included much in the Jenner/Kardashian family growing up. Sometimes it’s hard to watch, but it’s relatable as all hell to a lot of different people who grew up in blended families.
They have really great vagina moments. Like when Khloe burns her vagina on wax and has Kourtney put mayonnaise on it for her because mayo soothes AND shines the good ol’ vag. When Kourtney delivered her own baby and they filmed it (if that isn’t punk rock as shit I don’t know what is). When they had a vagina smell-off in London to see if eating pineapple really makes it smell sweeter. Hilarity. Vaginas vaginas vaginas.
They provide a different kind of reality programming.that shit CRAY
Think about the other reality programs that are on TV. I don’t want to demean the other shows because they are super entertaining too. But come on, Real Housewives? Heyo plastic surgery, rampant materialism, alcoholism, dated gender roles, horrible role models for how any woman or man should act. Bridalplasty? Bridezilla? All women are SO crazy on their wedding day! All they care about is the perfect wedding! PUKE. Pretty Wild? Anything Paris Hilton was in? Every girl is a wild party girl who doesn’t know anything about anything! I think the Kardashians are the most positive role models for young women on reality television, given the competition. They run multiple businesses, have difficult personal relationships that they constantly work on (just like us!), are honest about feeling inadequate/fat/ugly, get cosmetic shit done and show it on television because lookin’ good takes WORK (vampire facelift, cellulite removal), support each other, get in fights with their siblings and later apologize, show a strong work ethic, take care of themselves, spend time with family, etc.
THEY ARE ENTERTAINING. Khloe is absolutely hilarious, it’s fun to watch the whole family make fun of Kim and Kris, and Rob embodies every moment of self doubt, worthlessness and self fat-shaming you’ve ever had in your life. Despite the fame and wealth, these people are fucking relatable.
The Kardashians are entertaining. They have a crazy family dynamic. They are a successful bunch of strong, business-minded women who totally outshine all of the men in the show (sorry dudes but it’s true). I’m not asking anyone to like them, but you can at least give credit where credit is due. *Drops Kardashian Kollection mic*
Katy Perry and Lady Gaga both released singles this week ahead of schedule due to leaks (duh, welcome to the internet and 2008). Along with their single releases, they both have released lyric videos to go along with their singles. You know, to give the drooling pop obsessed masses (yo what up thats me 2) something to look at while the real video gets made, and so the artist/record label can make official money off the ads from youtube. Holla fo that dolla. But really, have we entered a new era of the music video?
TRL! my heart strings are a-pullin’. miss u 4ever.
The first music video to ever grace MTV was The Buggles “Video Killed the Radio Star.” LOL. 4shadowing FTW. MTV gave music videos a great place to live until they decided ain’t nobody got time fo that shit. They cut down the regularly scheduled music video programming to an hour and a half after school on Total Request Live, or belovedly, TRL. In case you were living on Mars, Russia or a home where your parents banned television (my condolences), TRL was awesome. It was a place where kids got to call in (USING LANDLINE PHONES!!!!!) to request their favorite music videos and hopefully get their Britney or NSYNC vid to the number 1 spot. It was such a big fucking deal. I actually miss it.
Since TRL’s cancellation in 2008 (R.I.P. 4ever and PLEASE bring this show back on the internet. seriously. SRSLY), the music video has had a pretty much exclusive internet platform, because let’s be real: MTV2 couldn’t even keep to its word that it would be the real music video channel, and VH1 LOL. Throw in internet file sharing and the money-losing scramble of the music industry over the past decade, our poor little Music Video has suffered quite a lot in quality, budget and creativity.
However, out of a seemingly doomed medium of sonic visual expression came a little thing called the Lyric Video. It’s a modest, bastardly child of the once great Music Video. The first lyric videos started off with horrible fonts and and a gross blue screen. You’ve seen them. They’ve come a long way since Windows 2000 though. Now they’ve got pretty colors and exciting fonts. The joy!
a still of Ke$ha’s lyric video for “Die Young”
Somewhere along the line, a music exec/artist/manager not completely fucked up on blow realized how many views theses videos get, how CHEAP it is to make them, and how useful it would be to slap ads on an official lyric video and make some extra dollaz.
Good job, music industry. It only took you about 8 years to figure that shit out.
Anyways, it seems more and more with big time releases to put out a lyric video while the actual video gets made, if one even gets made. The lyric video has sort of become a toe in the water to see if a real music video would be a lucrative venture or a compete waste of time and money. But is this creating a greater creative divide between video formats for songs? If the lyric video is the cheap, low-key video version of the song, then will real music videos in turn become something more cinematic? Maybe. Hopefully. We’ll see.
Taylor Swift released both a lyric video and an official video for her single “We Are Never Getting Back Together.” Swift’s lyric video has over 27 million views, and the official video has nearly 175 million views. That’s over 200 million views combined. That’s a lot of fucking views.
T swift and her font-y lyric video
Selena Gomez, Justin Bieber, Demi Lovato and Ke$ha have all released lyric videos this year for songs. If it hasn’t become a huge norm to release a lyric video, it’s going to be. Especially since both Katy Perry and Gaga released lyric videos quickly after their songs leaked. It’s a great way to make a little quick, extra money ahead of a budgeted music video, give the fans something official to watch and deliver a cheaply made but (hopefully) creative video to accompany a new single.
After all, throwing money at something like art doesn’t always make it good. Put restrictions in place, like money, time and scrolling lyrics, and see how creative artists can get within those boundaries. Who knows. We may have our next piece of musical cinematic brilliance in a 2 Chainz lyric video. Maybe not. All I know is, we are entering a new era of videos made for visually enjoying and interacting with modern music. Thank god a new creative platform has come to the music industry, cuz it’s about goddamn time.
Style at the Teen Choice Awards and Lea Michele’s tribute to Cory Monteith
Style at the Teen Choice Awards was full of weird shit and a couple of gems. But first, a non-fashion related highlight: Lea Michele’s tribute to Cory Monteith after winning best comedy actress:
_________________________
A very sweet tribute to her late BF, co-star and heartthrob for teen theater kidz everywhere.
OKAY dry your tears now and focus: there was some really great style at the TCA. But also some really bad shit. Like, the worst shit I’ve seen in a VERY long time. The stuff made of nightmares. READY?!
HIT
Lily Collins (and sort of Bella Thorne)
EEEEP!! I LOVE Lily Collins outfit. That print is killer and totally vibin’ with the TCA. It’s fun, young, and totally California all while managing to still be chic. That’s a lot to fit into one outfit, but it definitely works. HOWEVER, yikes on the fact that Lily and Bella Thorne are wearing the EXACT SAME PRINT in different styles. I like Bella Thorne’s look too. It’s very Zach Morris meets a back alley, valley girl-on-girl mustache ride. HAWT. But Lily wins.
Avan Jogia
I don’t know who this is. But I love that he is pairing black with brown (or he has a kickass stylist) That ‘no black with brown’ rule is SO TIRED. Really. Who cares. It manages to give all black or all brown ensembles a fresh kick in the ass. Love it.
MISS
Abigail Breslin
WHAT! She is almost unrecognizable. Everybody’s favorite cute child star is growin’ tha fuck up. I have no idea what look she was going for here though. But hey-you’re bound to have a billion some style missteps as a teen. The dress looks like a fabric-happy homecoming dress. JUST SAY NO TO PLEATS BABY GURL. Also, the shoes blend in a little too well with her super fair skin, and same her white blonde hair. It’s summer, girl! Have you not been out on your bike, or swimming?! I can’t tell if her hair color looks bad because of her outfit or if she needs to get a role where they force her to have auburn hair. Lookin’ washed out is never in style, unless you’re going for heroin chic. Otherwise, get some low lights. And a better stylist plz!
MESS
Ashley Benson
Oh dear god. This might be the worst outfit I’ve seen all year, and I live in the midwest. Good Fucking Lord.
To start, It doesn’t look like it fits properly on top, but it could just be the camera angle. Secondly, what the fuck is going on with the second third of the dress? The fabric is bunched weirdly at the waste making it look like she just pulled a Ke$ha and peed on the curb before walking the red carpet. Who knows! This might be peplum’s drunk cousin with a weak bladder. And the lower third of the skirt/dress/abomination is SO HORRIBLE. Are those sequins, AND lace, AND a third skirt thing underneath? Who the fuck made this dress? and WHY? Fuck terrorists, homeland security needs to get on whoever terrorized teen viewers with this shit.
2PF 