Um, YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PLEASE. We could all use some more Jonathan Ames & co. You can never have enough Ted Danson/Zach Galifianakis sidekick action. NEVER!!!!! Plus, the love between these three male friends is such a unique take on male friendships in general. It really shows that dudes aren’t just obsessed with pussy or trying to fight some ugly dudes over chicks that don’t care 24/7. Unlike Entourage, ew. Those guys are grade A beef farts.
With the 24 hour news cycle and not really giving a shit, I totally forgot that Lady Gaga was making a perfume. I’m not sure she ever confirmed it or even commented on the rumor going around that it was going to smell like semen and blood. What a weird rumor to start. Seriously. Who the fuck thinks about spraying blood and semen on themselves, and then pushes the idea on a tad bit left of center pop star’s perfume idea? I bet it was someone in Hollywood who is balding and hates their life, and probably has an egg mcmuffin twice a week. Pathetic.
Image via crushable.com
From first look, I’m not totally appalled at the packaging. The box looks nice in its black and gold coloring. The lid for some reason makes me think of Lady Gaga’s hair and how nutty and over the top it can be. Like a fancier version of the hair bow she used to wear back in her heydey as a rising star. I can almost see a pair of sunglasses peeking out from under the gold top. The black liquid looks pretty cool, except why the fuck is it black? Is that shit gonna stain? Probably not, that would be a pretty awful design flaw.
I will say this: I hope it doesn’t smell like vanilla like every other god damn celebrity perfume. Justin Bieber, Beyonce, J.Lo, Britney, Paris, Selena Gomez, Katy Perry and every one else. Vanilla. I guess if Gaga’s smelled like semen and blood it would at least be thinking outside of the box. Kim Kardashian has one, right? Does it smell like a business pyramid scheme and self-absorbed pee fetishes? I wish. Then I would TOTALLY buy it. Ke$ha’s will probably smell like that too, but with a little more essence of beard and whiskey-sweat tour bus balls.
Also, I guess you ain’t shit unless you have a perfume. Noted.
I think the Sarah Silverman Program is one of the funniest shows on Netflix Instant. Sarah plays a warped version of herself who is unemployed and highly childlike, self-obsessed and irresponsible. Sarah gets into ridiculous situations. Getting people fired, having sex with God and then not calling him back, and convincing the homophobic parents of her gay friend to take LSD to learn how to be accepting. These situations are completely insane and absolutely fun.
She also writes original songs in nearly all the episodes that will make you cry. There’s a Lisa Loeb cover that leads her to touring the country with her previously thought-to-be-deceased father in a group called “The Loeb Trotters”, penises aren’t father figures and an ode to poop. Take a look at some of the lyrics:
This is a Poop Song
It was brown and it had raisins
And we flushed it for those reasons
This is a poop song…
This is a poop song.
I was walking to the mall
And I had to make a poop
This is a poop song…
This is a poop song.
We pooped at the mall today
We pooped at the mall…
The Porn Song
there’s a dream in your head
that will never come true,
there’s a stickiness all over
and it didn’t come from you.
you wish your dad had been there
but more oftentimes he was not,
you can’t put your arms around
a dirty gang-bang cum shot,
but that’s all you et.
that’s all you get.”
do you ever take drugs
so that you can have sex
without crying?…yeah yeah
there’s a hole in your heart
where the sorrow pours out.
there’s a hole in your heart
where ambivalence sets in….
all the penises in the country
all the penises in the world
all the penises in the galaxy
won’t fill your heart hole….
Genius. Pure genius. You have to check out this show. It’s the right amount of ridiculous everyone could use, especially during election year. She’s hot, it’s funny, and there is a crazy big Tom Selleck mustache in every episode. What more could you ever ask for?
Hilarious and supa fine. Image via israel-lightontonations.blogspot.com
The internet tries to devour her, that’s what. But she’s not slinking away, and I hope she keeps it up!
This is almost old news by now, but it still succeeds in cracking me up. What’s pissing me off is the way people are reacting – I almost can’t believe how vicious people are being towards this woman. I’ll make this short and sweet (maybe).
Her seatmate is a handsome (I guess?) D-list actor named Brian Presley.
(I can’t believe he was on General Hospital because I’ve watched that show religiously since the Luke and Laura days, and I don’t recognize either him or his character’s name at all. Umm…leaving no impression is worse than leaving a bad impression.)
Anyway, during the flight, it seems Brain talks about himself a lot. And a lot of what…
There’s power in the people, fighting the good fight. Some good news in a world of bad. A mother’s home was saved by protesting and getting Citibank to commit to loan modification. It seems lame to thank Citibank, because taking peoples’ homes away after giving out a bunch of terrible-idea loans over the past decade seems like a wholly dick move, and it is. Thankfully someone with half a brain over there in the banking industry did the right thing in letting this woman pay back the loan instead of taking her house.
Click the link to read the whole story below. YAY!!!
THIS. IS. AMAZING. So many ugly babies. I love them all even more for being unabashedly ugly. You go, babies!
Babies are so fucking cute, even when they are ugly as shit.
Rough night and a future mug shot frequentee.
Those are MURDER eyes.
This baby might be excused due to just coming out of a holy V. Nobody looks good after that. What you look like after being born is like the denim outfit of life. It looks good on no one.
2PF 