Gaga vs Perry: Life is better when two pop stars reign at the same time

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Lady Gaga’s “ARTPOP” 11.11.13

vs.

Katy Perry’s “Prism” 10-22-13

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There seems to be a special alignment of the planets (or corporate music industry strategy. whatevz) when a huge pop star releases an album.  Madonna vs. Cindi Lauper, Britney vs. Christina, and now Gaga vs. Katy Perry. What would be the fun in releasing a major diva studio pop album without some healthy competition?! GOD THIS FALL IS GOING TO BE AWESOME.

Lady Gaga and Katy Perry rose to fame together, both have two albums under their sparkly belts and are slated to release their third albums this fall, respectively titled “ARTPOP” and “Prism”. I have no idea which one I’m more excited for. Dare I say I’m excited for both? Pop blasphemy! Pop music tyrant! To the VMA stakes!

I’m excited for Gaga’s “ARTPOP” because:

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Single art for Gaga’s “Applause”. Me gusta.
  • I like all of the aesthetics so far. Her first single titled “Applause” has a fresh look to it. I’m digging the white a lot. It’s a whole lot better than her “Born This Way” album art, that’s for sure.
  • Gaga lives for art. She puts a lot of effort into her artistic process. “ARTPOP” is said to be a journey through collaborations with famous artists like Inez & Vinoohd (worked with Björk in the music biz and a lot of fashion photography), Robert Wilson, Marina Abramovic (famous performance artist and recently in Jay Z’s latest video release) and Jeff Koons.
  • Girlfriend ain’t afraid to get a little weird, which is always makes for an interesting time.

I’m excited for Katy Perry’s “Prism” because:

  • She is a quintessential pop star. I get the vibe that Katy Perry will (and does) do everything she is directed to do by her label. I like her music a lot, but it is very cut and dried classic pop music. It will be like 200 feet in front of new trends, but won’t stand anywhere near what would be called innovative. She is here for one purpose: Sexy. Hot. Pop. Star. And we love her for that.
  • You know she’s gonna have the best pop song of fall on her new album. She works with the best pop music producers in the business (Max Martin, Dr. Luke) and the best pop music songwriters (Sia, Bonnie McKee). She gets the best of the best of the BEST to help produce and write her music.
  • Her fashion sense is good, even though it’s completely fucking commercial “I’m a sexy lady! Gee whiz! Boobs! Firework!”

“Born This Way” and “Teenage Dream” were both great sophomore releases but totally pandered directly to “troubled” and  “bullied” teens and less towards an artistic, grown up sound. I think both of their upcoming albums will show long overdue maturity, however Gaga probably has more freedom to grow up in the limelight than Katy Perry. Katy Perry is the pop music, number 1 hit maker slave, and Gaga is the weirdo artist but still has to appeal to a wide audience. Life is hard in Pop World, y’all.

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Pop Predictions

All things considered, I think Gaga’s album will be way more interesting and creative than Katy Perry’s. It’s like if Madonna from 30 years ago (holy fucking shit it has been THAT long) split in half, birthing two opposing pop star molds: with Gaga you get the edge, the art, and the cravings for controversy. With Katy you get the “I’m the Queen of Pop now” who releases really great but kind of predictable #1 hits that are about as stimulating as a cold Diet Coke with a really great sandwich. Sure, everyone loves Diet Coke and good sandwiches, but it’s no orange San Pellegrino with a side of classical piano training and a penchant for performance art. Only time (internet leaks) will tell which album will prevail. BRING. IT. ON.

Celebrité: So Lady Gaga has a perfume now

Image via Facebook

Lady Gaga’s got a p-p-perfume

With the 24 hour news cycle and not really giving a shit, I totally forgot that Lady Gaga was making a perfume. I’m not sure she ever confirmed it or even commented on the rumor going around that it was going to smell like semen and blood. What a weird rumor to start. Seriously. Who the fuck thinks about spraying blood and semen on themselves, and then pushes the idea on a tad bit left of center pop star’s perfume idea? I bet it was someone in Hollywood who is balding and hates their life, and probably has an egg mcmuffin twice a week. Pathetic.

Image via crushable.com

From first look, I’m not totally appalled at the packaging. The box looks nice in its black and gold coloring. The lid for some reason makes me think of Lady Gaga’s hair and how nutty and over the top it can be. Like a fancier version of the hair bow she used to wear back in her heydey as a rising star. I can almost see a pair of sunglasses peeking out from under the gold top. The black liquid looks pretty cool, except why the fuck is it black? Is that shit gonna stain? Probably not, that would be a pretty awful design flaw.

I will say this: I hope it doesn’t smell like vanilla like every other god damn celebrity perfume. Justin Bieber, Beyonce, J.Lo, Britney, Paris, Selena Gomez, Katy Perry and every one else. Vanilla. I guess if Gaga’s smelled like semen and blood it would at least be thinking outside of the box. Kim Kardashian has one, right? Does it smell like a business pyramid scheme and self-absorbed pee fetishes? I wish. Then I would TOTALLY buy it. Ke$ha’s will probably smell like that too, but with a little more essence of beard and whiskey-sweat tour bus balls.

Also, I guess you ain’t shit unless you have a perfume. Noted.

Image via Facebook