We should seriously make all the old people we know watch this before they get a Facebook. They don’t need to know it wasn’t invented in the 90s. Then they’ll watch The Social Network and be all “hey, what gives!” and we’ll be like “payback for Santa Claus, suckas.”
Fuck dating is a recurring column written by many anonymous and fabulous 20 somethings
Isn’t it fun when you’re about to go on a date with someone and they get a girlfriend in between you texting and figuring out when would be a good time to meet up?!
In all honesty, it’s nice that this person found someone. I’m always game for true love in other people’s lives. Maybe. Because who “finds a girlfriend” or even a person you want to watch Netflix with (it’s a serious deal) in less than a week’s time? Hopefully not many people in their 20s are still trying to mate this way.
*Sends over a note written on a gas station receipt for 5 Hour Energy and a single roll of toilet paper*
“Will u be my gf? Y or N or DTF.”
A little different than our elementary dating days relaying messages through an intricate network of school friends in the cafeteria, but with the same essence and beauty behind each letter.
I mean come on. You can’t even make a real friend in a week. That shit takes time. You gotta meet, meet again, meet another time, then meet alone, get drunk, share a humiliating story, eat a whole bag of Cheetos and then hate yourselves together, cry in public and embarrass everyone you’re with, turn the water on for your friend in that bathroom when they get pee shy, steal from them, etc. After all of that, I think you can call someone your friend. Doesn’t that list double or triple before you can call someone your girlfriend or boyfriend?
Different strokes for different folks. All I know is relationships are hard, weird, fun and exciting. But not taking any time to expertly choose your new love adventure is what kids do in between smelling each others dirty fingers at recess and guessing what the smell is. Are you gonna be that kid on the playground that will smell anyone’s dirty fingers, or will you hold out for a smell you never dreamed could exist? Only time will tell my friends. Only time will tell.
WHAT A CUTE OUTFIT!!!!! I want that skirt. These are similar and probably much more in the 20 something price range.
Hot. $19.80. But will the zippers work? Forever 21 has the worst zippers ever.
$16.50. Not bad. Although I haven’t thought about Delia’s since the catalogs I never ordered from but somehow always got as a teen.
$22.50. So higher-end-20 something. I like it.
Farewell Santy. You were a greatly written character during the Republican race for the White House: Back to White America. Much more memorable than all the other people I’ve already forgotten about. Wait, Gingrich was pretty cray cray. He’ll probably be back for Road Rules: Republican candidates get wild in Cabo San Lucas. I’d actually like to be on that show. Can you imagine the things that would be flying out of those mouths after 2 shots of Bacardi Razz? If only. Let’s remember the good times we had with Santorum, and then forget him forever.
The time when thinly-veiled white supremacists wrote a song about him.
When he said education was bad for people, because they learn things about the world and learning makes people un-Christian.
His last name and all the jokes that came with it!
Hating women. Ugh, GTFO Santy.
The time he said a child from rape is a gift from G.O.D.
Pretending he knows anything about the medical profession. Playing Operation doesn’t really give anyone the credentials to make serious medical decisions for millions of people, and neither does being a Christian or a politician, jerkface.
For a while, his campaign was afoot with death, sex and abortion, which made him look like a sick fetishist. That was fun I guess.
He thinks it’s wrong to have sex for pleasure. Why you just take our Netflix, chocolate and Chipotle burritos away from us too, asswipe!
Ciao, sucka. FOREVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!
I’ve never really thought much about Thomas Kinkade. It’s a familiar name that people know and probably associate with houses in the snow with carriages and lots of brick. Pleasant-y things, but never an actual portrait that comes to mind because they are all just pleasing enough to passively look at.
As I was looking through his art, I came across these Disney portraits he did. They kind of look like a mix between the beloved cartoon we all grew up with and something you might find at a Spencer’s Gifts. You know, the felt posters that glow in the dark with a lingering incense aroma and the ever present feeling that a 13 year old redheaded boy staring at you. Who knew Spencer’s Gifts and Thomas Kinkade portraits would have so much in common.
RIP TK.
That looks like the hippest role-play team of all time. Capes forever!
Amanda Bynes joins the ranks of Khloé Kardashian, Lindsay Lohan and Nicole Richie in finally getting her very own DUI. Next, a perfume deal, a personal conversation with Tori Spelling, a minted plaque from the LA county jail and perfume line with a 2-year reality show contract on E!
I guess her dad claims she wasn’t drunk that night. No matter what, girlfriend is looking a little rough, no? Pink hair, 10th grade eye liner skills and cheap lipstick. Maybe she’s researching a part where she plays a girl who is secretly a high class call girl and she has to take drugs to get through all the madness. Oh wait. Rumour has it Ms. Bynes is already doing all of those things.
Is Hollywood really that weird? Maybe it’s just rich people. Perhaps the combination of the two make it a modern day Gomorrah.
Gotta love and respect the fame cycle. Except no love and respect for call girlin’ and drugs. Rich men with no personality and a wallet full o’ cash for “high class” ladies are gross.
Check out the simpler times of Amanda Bynes.
Madonna was the absolute coolest girl on the planet.
The entire movie is documenting Madonna as she completes her 1990 Blonde Ambition tour. After watching this early Madonna, you understand why she is the root of modern pop stardom. She fights through crowds of photographers, creates controversy to get in the papers, sings catchy yet solid pop lyrics and dances like the coolest bitch that ever lived. She is a true star. From demanding the sound guy explain to her why there is so much feedback to her waving to adoring fans outside her hotel room, she plays the original pop star role to perfection.
A good part of the film focuses on the people who surround her. Mostly backup dancers make up her day to day entourage, but once in a while people like Antonia Banderas and Sandra Barnhart show up to show famous people being friends with other famous people. It’s bizarre. Boyfriend at the time Warren Beaty was wary of the cameras and the whole act surrounding Madonna at the time, and you could tell he kind of thought she was bullshit or he was too insecure to be with a woman of her fame and character.
Some of the other people interviewed in this documentary, like her brother Martin or the people that work on her show, could hands down be a character on any documentary-style sitcom show. Her brother in particular reminded me of a Trailer Park Boys–esque Ricky crossed with Turtle from Entourage and Ben Affleck’s character in Good Will Hunting. Another woman, who was a long lost childhood friend of Madonna’s, wants her to be her child’s Godmother. Madonna graciously thanks her and says she’ll get back to her on it later because she’s so busy, all with a cheeky, “yeah right gurl” attitude as she blows out of the room because she’s famous and perpetually late. The definition of cool.
One could argue so many things about this documentary. That it’s Madonna doing Marilyn, that it’s at times hard to tell what is real, what is staged and what is exaggerated. But isn’t Madonna’s whole appeal (and that of Lady Gaga and any pop star as well) to act their part on the grand stage of life a mere 24 hours a day, 7 days a week? They want fame, they become fame. This is a documentary showing the personal aftermath of being the coolest, most famous and successful woman in the world.
Watch it.
Monday’s are bleak my friends. Filled with sleepy eyes, regrettable memories of your weekend second life and not.enough.coffee. This mixtape is cool and just weird enough to keep you on your toes during whatever it is that won’t keep you awake at work. If that doesn’t convince you, there’s Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” 4 minutes in. DO IT. Your morning report will be fucking kick-ass because of it. Promise.
Happy Monday!!!
Oh. MY. GOD. I can’t believe they let her put on that show. Honestly.
First of all, I am a HUGE Britney fan. I love the songs and her early choreographed dance sequences. I spent all of the 2007/2008 school year forcing people to listen to Blackout. But Britney Spears Live: The Femme Fatale Tour makes me really sad. And it will probably make you sad too.
It was forgivable in the beginning of Brit’s career that she lip-synced here and there because she was gracing our eyes with the coolest dance moves of the new millennium to the coolest dance hits by the biggest and most successful pop producers in the world. She used to put on a high-energy dance performance while acting out the song. Now she moves around semi-mindlessly, clearly lip-syncing and disappointing fans with her lackluster dance production to songs that were made for a pop-dance breakdown.
After countless knee-surgeries and a likely prescription for lithium (never forget Britney 2007), she can’t quite move like she used to. Which is understood by everyone. But continuing to lip-sync during a show where you’re not even heavily dancing is just getting absurd. What’s the point of the live show if you get little more than seeing a famous person?
The concert is full of Britney’s greatest hits. She performs them by walking back and forth on stage, moving her arms with our best 6th grade dance moves and lip-syncing the whole time. The costumes looked cheap. At some points in the concert, she would just stand next to things, like a pole, and touch them from time to time. She was also allowed to sit (after the exhaustion of “singing” and “dancing”) on a huge swing that a guy climbed while she mouthed along to a ballad.
This woman is either an autistic savant pop/dance music genius who has gone aloof or a seriously damaged famous person being medicated and put on stage to walk around perform because she makes lots of money.
Do not watch this movie. It will do nothing besides make you feel sad that Britney isn’t the Britney we grew up with and angry that somebody makes millions of dollars for walking around on a stage sort of giving a shit about what’s going on.
I love Britney so much. A part of her will be in my heart forever. But this concert movie is a harsh reality check. We better keep admiring her saucy dance tracks from audio sources only because watching it live is hard. You’ve been warned.
2PF 