Demi Lovato struts her nip down the Teen Choice Awards red carpet

Cool look. Even cooler nip. Image via jezebel.com

Well well well, what do we have here?! A little slip of the nip I see? Ms. Demi Lovato, you are playing all your X Factor hype cards right. Congrats!

I’ve been following celebrity gossip since like, 2005. This is fucking textbook right here. Because:

A) Why wouldn’t you wear a dress that you could wear a bra under to a teen awards show? Because there’s no chance of press nipple exposure, which is necessary at all events in Hollywood apparently, even the kid ones!

Image via blauearth.com

B) You can always go with pasties. Gaga is a big fan of the blatant double X black tape nipple cover up when she wears see through things. No pasties? Definite nip slip opportunity, definite press.

I have long ago lost the gal in the back of my mind that feels embarrassed for celebs giving peeks of their nips, vag, peens, etc. This stuff is probably NEVER an accident. Except poor Tara Reid and her botched surgery exposure. We may never know. If I was on a red carpet in a sheer dress with no bra or pasties on, I would be a fucking wreck thinking about my nipple making its famewhore debut without my consent. Nip slips are lucrative people, so why try to cover up moneymakers?!

I wouldn’t be surprised if nip slips were built into her X Factor contract. Britney needs to seem like the stable one, because people really like seeing her stable with a regular job. But Demi is our wildcard here. We shall look forward to her crazy antics for the upcoming X Factor season. Nip slips, continuing the discussion of her stint in rehab, etc. are free press for a show that’s still trying to compete with the other 80 singing competition shows on TV (that are little more than what famous people do in between doing actual albums/movies/etc.)

Congrats Demi! You’re on your way.

Check out the new No Doubt video!!!!

Look at that fucking skin. Awesome. Image via ryanseacrest.com

I am so excited to watch No Doubt back in action again. Strangely, it feels different and foreign to see a woman jumping around like a rock star in a music video, instead of shooting guns or spraying cream from her tits. Popular music is so full of ladies and mens trying to one up each other in crazy outfits and even crazier gossip. Gaga’s blood and semen perfume and everything she has ever worn, Katy Perry’s fantasy divorce, marriage and candy themed life, Nikki Minaj with her butt implants and multiple personalities, even Frank Ocean coming out as bi right before his debut album dropped (most definitely commendable in the hip hop scene, but also great publicity); it all gets a little exhausting to keep up with after a while. (Damn you 24 hour news cycle!)

I need a nap. Image via extraordinaryintelligence.com

Gwen and the ND boys are a refreshing departure from everyone on the radio right now, not only musically but fashionably as well. Gwen isn’t showing us her crack or tits or wearing anything too crazy. I love her tank tops and her hair back and her pants and FLATS, because could you ever imagine Lady Gaga, Katy Perry or Nikki Minaj stepping outside, let alone in a music video, without some RIDICULOUS AS FUCK outfit on? Don’t get me wrong- the crazy outfits are fun. But when everyone in the industry is doing it to constantly one up each other, is it really unique anymore?

Check out the vid below. Welcome back guys!!!!

Happy Independence Day, America!

God Bless America, the one who birthed GA-GA!!!!! Image via collegedj.net

We should use the 4th of July as a time to be thankful and reflect on how great we have it in America, despite the economic situation.

Or we could just get drunk and light shit on fire with family and friends.

You decide.

‘MERICA!

Celebrité: So Lady Gaga has a perfume now

Image via Facebook

Lady Gaga’s got a p-p-perfume

With the 24 hour news cycle and not really giving a shit, I totally forgot that Lady Gaga was making a perfume. I’m not sure she ever confirmed it or even commented on the rumor going around that it was going to smell like semen and blood. What a weird rumor to start. Seriously. Who the fuck thinks about spraying blood and semen on themselves, and then pushes the idea on a tad bit left of center pop star’s perfume idea? I bet it was someone in Hollywood who is balding and hates their life, and probably has an egg mcmuffin twice a week. Pathetic.

Image via crushable.com

From first look, I’m not totally appalled at the packaging. The box looks nice in its black and gold coloring. The lid for some reason makes me think of Lady Gaga’s hair and how nutty and over the top it can be. Like a fancier version of the hair bow she used to wear back in her heydey as a rising star. I can almost see a pair of sunglasses peeking out from under the gold top. The black liquid looks pretty cool, except why the fuck is it black? Is that shit gonna stain? Probably not, that would be a pretty awful design flaw.

I will say this: I hope it doesn’t smell like vanilla like every other god damn celebrity perfume. Justin Bieber, Beyonce, J.Lo, Britney, Paris, Selena Gomez, Katy Perry and every one else. Vanilla. I guess if Gaga’s smelled like semen and blood it would at least be thinking outside of the box. Kim Kardashian has one, right? Does it smell like a business pyramid scheme and self-absorbed pee fetishes? I wish. Then I would TOTALLY buy it. Ke$ha’s will probably smell like that too, but with a little more essence of beard and whiskey-sweat tour bus balls.

Also, I guess you ain’t shit unless you have a perfume. Noted.

Image via Facebook

Celebrité: Lady Gaga got pretty fucked up

Image via Facebook

Baby girl!! I can’t believe she doesn’t look worse actually after getting hit in the head with a metal prop during a concert in New Zealand. She probably has a goose egg the size of her poofy hair back there. A natural, injury-induced bumpit! She still looks beautiful. This girl will do anything for her little monsters, even completing 16 songs with a concussion. Seriously, I can’t believe she could do that. Amazing. So nice to her fans. Gaga 4 eva.

Music: Lady Gaga suffers concussion AND finishes concert

Image via wikimedia

This lady is solid gold. At a concert in New Zealand, an unlucky backup dancer smacked our Lady of Gaga in the head with a metal pole, giving her a concussion. No worries though, she went on to finish the rest of the 16 songs for the show. Ho.LY. Moly.

Lady Gaga concussion

I get a headache and I feel utterly debilitated, and this bitch is finished hours of songs with a concussion. I need to get to her level, STAT!

I don’t know what it would take for her to NOT finish a concert. Apocalypse? Broken legs? Al Queda? She’d probably still finished “Bad Romance” because that’s how baller she is.

Work it Lady G. Hope your head feels better!!

Madonna covers Gaga’s “Born This Way” on MDNA tour!!!!

Madonna and Gaga on SNL. Love them. Image via tunesmate.com

HOLY SHIZ. The Queen of the Pop universe mashed together her amazing hit “Express Yourself” with Mother Monster’s similarly chord-progressioned love hit “Born This Way.” So very cool of Madonna, because it’s both an honor for Madonna to sing your song in concert AND a little “hey bitch, that’s MY chord progression. And everyone WILL know it.” I love my pop queens. Fucking fabulous. Watch it here on perez!!

Listen: Dntel remixes Lady Gaga’s “Paparazzi”

Chillwave as fuuuuuuck. Love it. I wanna sit on a beanbag inside Dntel’s Jimmy Tamborello‘s head while he’s playing music. So so so so so out of this world cool. Ps the dog in the video is trippin.

Two of my favorite people, and a microphone. Can you imagine if James Figurine produced a Lady Gaga Album? Holy shit, madness. Image via blogs.laweekly.com

Netflix nightcap: Madonna: Truth or Dare

The one and only. Image via homorazzi.com

Madonna was the absolute coolest girl on the planet.

The entire movie is documenting Madonna as she completes her 1990 Blonde Ambition tour. After watching this early Madonna, you understand why she is the root of modern pop stardom. She fights through crowds of photographers, creates controversy to get in the papers, sings catchy yet solid pop lyrics and dances like the coolest bitch that ever lived. She is a true star. From demanding the sound guy explain to her why there is so much feedback to her waving to adoring fans outside her hotel room, she plays the original pop star role to perfection.

A good part of the film focuses on the people who surround her. Mostly backup dancers make up her day to day entourage, but once in a while people like Antonia Banderas and Sandra Barnhart show up to show famous people being friends with other famous people. It’s bizarre. Boyfriend at the time Warren Beaty was wary of the cameras and the whole act surrounding Madonna at the time, and you could tell he kind of thought she was bullshit or he was too insecure to be with a woman of her fame and character.

So fucking cool. Image via idolator.com

Some of the other people interviewed in this documentary, like her brother Martin or the people that work on her show, could hands down be a character on any documentary-style sitcom show. Her brother in particular reminded me of a Trailer Park Boysesque Ricky crossed with Turtle from Entourage and Ben Affleck’s character in Good Will HuntingAnother woman, who was a long lost childhood friend of Madonna’s, wants her to be her child’s Godmother. Madonna graciously thanks her and says she’ll get back to her on it later because she’s so busy, all with a cheeky, “yeah right gurl” attitude as she blows out of the room because she’s famous and perpetually late. The definition of cool.

One could argue so many things about this documentary. That it’s Madonna doing Marilyn, that it’s at times hard to tell what is real, what is staged and what is exaggerated. But isn’t Madonna’s whole appeal (and that of Lady Gaga and any pop star as well) to act their part on the grand stage of life a mere 24 hours a day, 7 days a week? They want fame, they become fame. This is a documentary showing the personal aftermath of being the coolest, most famous and successful woman in  the world.

Watch it.