May they Rest in Peace having protected people they loved. So powerful.
Dayum! Kristen Stewart cheating pics, so much (alleged) tongue
Scandalous!!!! But really? In a car? If I was followed constantly like her, it’s like almost wanting to get caught. Maybe she let him go down on her in a car to get caught and feel human, maybe come down from the millionairess-adored-by-billions-of-vampire-addicts cloud she sat on last week.
Or maybe it’s a feminist move, like “hey, women can cheat too!” Which is kinda bullshit that she’ll take more flack for this whole mess. Yes, she broke a sparkly, British vampire’s heart and is waaay more famous than this previously no name director. But Rupert Sanders has two kids and is MARRIED. That’s a lot larger of a bond to break with your dick than a girl in a relationship gettin’ it on with her clit. Truth!
What a shitty situation for EVERYONE involved. Cheating never ends well. The cheaters always sound SO insincere when they apologize. Via People, Kristen released this statement:
“I’m deeply sorry for the hurt and embarrassment I’ve caused to those close to me and everyone this has affected. This momentary indiscretion has jeopardized the most important thing in my life, the person I love and respect the most, Rob. I love him, I love him, I’m so sorry.”
And from Rupert Sanders:
“I am utterly distraught about the pain I have caused my family,” Sanders tells PEOPLE in an exclusive statement. “My beautiful wife and heavenly children are all I have in this world. I love them with all my heart. I am praying that we can get through this together.”
I think I’ll write a song called “I Love Him, I Love Him (I’m So Sorry)”. Fucking gold. But really, it’s pointless to lambast either of them because people make mistakes. However, the affair/tryst/romp in the car happened last week, so who knows if it would have gone on for longer or not. It is, however, highly unfortunate that all of this had to be dealt with in the media. It’s embarrassing for everyone involved.
And now we wait for Robert Pattinson to comment. Come on! It’s been almost a whole day! (I’m so sorry)
While you’re at it, F me on Facebook
What’s up with all the engagements on Facebook?
I swear there has been an increase in engagements on Facebook just in the past couple of weeks. Perhaps it’s due in part to the fact that summer may be halfway over, and happy enough couples are scrambling to fulfill their happy (!) quota for the season. Or maybe they need to book NOW to get a decent place for a summer wedding. What’s better than a fall and winter full of engagement photos, questions about napkin sizes and where to seat people you don’t really like!?
I can handle an engagement here and there. Maybe once a month, but that may be pushing it. When it’s my actual life friends, I’m truly overjoyed. When it’s a parade of Pinterest addicts you met in high school math class and their boyfriends in middle management who jerk off to Hentai, my feelings take a different, less enthusiastic turn.
I’ve deduced some possible reasons for the influx of our acquaintance’s recent engagements:
- Election year! They love the idea of getting married in front of their homosexual friends, because it’s always fun to do stuff other people can’t, much like rolling your tongue or weird finger tricks
- Cute people are convinced they won’t find anyone better, or that their cuteness might run out (sunscreen and gym will fix that)
- Settling for a guy/gal with a decent job. Not good, but decent, which is sadly relevant in today’s economy
- Someone is pregnant with “traditional” parents (which really means the newlyweds are spineless hamfarts)
- Shared mortgages are secretly an aphrodisiac
- Splitting the cable bill, rent and AC sure beats paying for it by yourself
The divorce rate in this country is 50%, or something close to that. So, technically, that means that half of all these marriages are gonna end by one of the following:
- Hidden tiny hand fetish
- Gay
- My Strange Addiction participant
- An affair with a former Teen Mom
- Online gambling/video game second life addict
- Farts
- An unhealthy obsession with fictional supporting characters of one season television series on the now defunct WB
There are just so many uncertainties in a world full of crap relationships and blood diamonds, that we’ll just have to let the swift hand of fate deal their cards. But you believe me this: We can suck it up through the wedding photos, bachelorette parties and beef jerky dancefloors knowing that at the end of this dark tunnel, there is a light. Divorces have to be entertaining, right? Then we can REALLY watch some shit unfold on Facebook. Invest in your defriends wisely. One day, these newlyweds may make great divorcées. It could be their calling. Who wouldn’t want them to fulfill their destiny? Besides, There’s nothing better than a “new independent woman” with a Facebook status to update. I almost can’t wait.
Happy engagements!
Kristen Stewart caught cheating on Robert Pattinson, world to explode
WHAT THE FUCKKKK this is amazing gossip. Who knows if it’s true or what actually happened, or if the “evidence” of them cheating isn’t just a great photographic angle. What I do know is that a bunch of tween girls, lame teens, depressing 20 somethings and scary adults will be mad at her for “breaking” Robert Pattinson’s heart. Or, in a parallel universe, they will rejoice that their prayers came true and Rpatz is finally single after what seems like decades with his Twilight co-star.
Kristen Stewart seems like a cool chick, and so does Rob. They’ve done so great with the media storm that follows them due to their multi billion dollar franchise. But now, it’s gonna get NASTY. Kristen will be labeled a badass whore with a pill/coke/whatever addiction, something a la Brit Brit and Lindsay. And dear Robert will be celebrated as a sensitive bloke with a fragile soul that will take this situation as fuel for his movie career. Because once you get supernova big, the public loves NOTHING more to tear you down to your last shred of dignity and survival, and then when they’re ready, build you up again into a celebrity phoenix. Classic!
Christian Bale, what a guy!
Here is Christian Bale, star of The Dark Knight Rises and Newsies, meeting with Carey Rottman, one of the Aurora shooting victims. What a guy. So effing cool that he went there to visit, and reportedly on his own without representing Warner Brothers.
Demi Lovato struts her nip down the Teen Choice Awards red carpet
Well well well, what do we have here?! A little slip of the nip I see? Ms. Demi Lovato, you are playing all your X Factor hype cards right. Congrats!
I’ve been following celebrity gossip since like, 2005. This is fucking textbook right here. Because:
A) Why wouldn’t you wear a dress that you could wear a bra under to a teen awards show? Because there’s no chance of press nipple exposure, which is necessary at all events in Hollywood apparently, even the kid ones!
B) You can always go with pasties. Gaga is a big fan of the blatant double X black tape nipple cover up when she wears see through things. No pasties? Definite nip slip opportunity, definite press.
I have long ago lost the gal in the back of my mind that feels embarrassed for celebs giving peeks of their nips, vag, peens, etc. This stuff is probably NEVER an accident. Except poor Tara Reid and her botched surgery exposure. We may never know. If I was on a red carpet in a sheer dress with no bra or pasties on, I would be a fucking wreck thinking about my nipple making its famewhore debut without my consent. Nip slips are lucrative people, so why try to cover up moneymakers?!
I wouldn’t be surprised if nip slips were built into her X Factor contract. Britney needs to seem like the stable one, because people really like seeing her stable with a regular job. But Demi is our wildcard here. We shall look forward to her crazy antics for the upcoming X Factor season. Nip slips, continuing the discussion of her stint in rehab, etc. are free press for a show that’s still trying to compete with the other 80 singing competition shows on TV (that are little more than what famous people do in between doing actual albums/movies/etc.)
Congrats Demi! You’re on your way.
Watch this now: No Doubt performs at the Teen Choice Awards
I love No Doubt. And I think it’s kinda funny that they performed at the Teen Choice Awards, because if you asked any teen before this award show if they knew who No Doubt was, they would probably be sweating drops of Bieberfever all over their shoes in anxiety that some other bitches were stealing stage time from their Dear Leader. But good marketing to a younger crowd anyways, because they are the only folks who pay for things these days thanks to good ol’ Mom and Dad.
The kids also may be confused about live music, vocals, band things, etc. as well. Oh, kids! So sweet.
Fashion: Jeffrey Campbell rollerskates
Holy shit. These are way better than those light up atrocities strange kids used to wear in middle school. Reminicent of Doc Martens circa 95. The wheels are retractable too! Drive in workers at Sonic just got a lot more fashionable.
This is fucking beautiful: Mike and Cody cover Britney’s “Toxic”
HOLY SHIT. SO SO SO GOOD. It gives it such a different dimension and feel. Love it!
Check out the new No Doubt video!!!!
I am so excited to watch No Doubt back in action again. Strangely, it feels different and foreign to see a woman jumping around like a rock star in a music video, instead of shooting guns or spraying cream from her tits. Popular music is so full of ladies and mens trying to one up each other in crazy outfits and even crazier gossip. Gaga’s blood and semen perfume and everything she has ever worn, Katy Perry’s fantasy divorce, marriage and candy themed life, Nikki Minaj with her butt implants and multiple personalities, even Frank Ocean coming out as bi right before his debut album dropped (most definitely commendable in the hip hop scene, but also great publicity); it all gets a little exhausting to keep up with after a while. (Damn you 24 hour news cycle!)
Gwen and the ND boys are a refreshing departure from everyone on the radio right now, not only musically but fashionably as well. Gwen isn’t showing us her crack or tits or wearing anything too crazy. I love her tank tops and her hair back and her pants and FLATS, because could you ever imagine Lady Gaga, Katy Perry or Nikki Minaj stepping outside, let alone in a music video, without some RIDICULOUS AS FUCK outfit on? Don’t get me wrong- the crazy outfits are fun. But when everyone in the industry is doing it to constantly one up each other, is it really unique anymore?
Check out the vid below. Welcome back guys!!!!
2PF 
