Summer guide: Skincare

Image via plumdistrict.com

SUMMER!!! Hey!!! You’re here! We’ve fucking missed you. For real. Winter can be SUCH a bitch sometimes. She made me gain 5 pounds and my skin looks like shit. Whatever I’m over it. Let’s get drunk.

With our new friend summer back in our lives again like friendly faces from old DVDs of The O.C., we’ve got to remember what she has in store for us. Here is the first part of the 20poorandfabulous guide to beginning your summer healthily, happily and above all fabulously.

PART ONE: Skincare

Image via physiciansformula.com

It is OF THE UTMOST IMPORTANCE to take care of your skin. I don’t care how pretty you are, how young and supple your skin is, or even if you don’t care. You NEED to take care of your skin. Your future 40 year old self will buy you many cocktails in honor of your skin preserving foresight in your 20s. Find a moisturizer that has a hefty SPF 15 built right into the formula. When you moisturize each morning, you won’t even have to worry about the sun because it will already be put into your skincare routine.

Some makeups come with SPF too. I’ve used Physician Formula bronzer with SPF 50 built in. This is really nice, especially for your cheeks where sun hits and tends to damage the most.

Don’t forget your lips either! This can be an easy place to forget to put sunscreen. Maybe because lips are lippy and feel different that the rest of our skin. But sunburning them can be a fucking BITCH. I like regular Chapstick brand with SPF 30. Whatever you do, DO NOT buy Burts Bees lifeguard chapstick with SPF. Although it offers nice protection, it turns your lips white from the zinc and does not look cute.

With the weather getting warmer and clothes getting smaller, it’s important to keep the rest of your body in mind when it comes to skincare. The shoulders and chest area in particular are places you’ll want to keep moisturized with sunscreen. Spray can sunscreens can be cool and convenient, but keep in mind the environmental impact on the ozone layer that spray can ingredients destroy. I’ve used Vanicream SPF 30. The product is fragrance-free, lanolin-free, PABA-free, gluten-free, preservative-free with no chemical additives, cinnamates or benzophenones and is non-comodogenic. Awesome. It was designed at the Mayo Clinic to be ideal for people with sensitive skin. My only complaint is that it is a little stubborn to rub in. But really, I don’t need to be that fucking lazy. Spending an extra 15 seconds rubbing something on my skin ain’t no thang.

Lastly, remember to stay hydrated! Heat exhaustion is no joke. Plus, lots of water keeps you and your beautiful skin happy and healthy.

What’s the point of having great skin if you’re not having fun?! Part 2: Summer Drinks is coming up next where Arnold Palmer is crowned genius of the world.

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Minneapolis 20 somethings: Get your hair did at JUUT in Uptown

Image via lavisheyelashes.com

Being a part-time gal in a full-priced world, it can sometimes be difficult to find reasonably priced services, such as getting your hair done. All I gotta say is roots were coming in and ends were straggly. Bad hair can ruin your day. So I asked around to hot girlfriends I know and was recommended the JUUT New Artists Academy in Uptown.

Let me start by saying this place is a great experience. You walk in and it’s almost trippy how attentive everyone is. I’m not used to strangers offering to take my coat and get me coffee upon arrival. Strangers normally want a cigarette or all of your money. It felt odd, grownup and awesome.

I desperately needed my roots filled in and a haircut. I had two different stylists who were in their 20s working on me, and they were both awesome. I started off with Kayla. We swapped 7th grade hair horror stories and ex-boyfriend chatter as I continually got pumped with free coffee caffeine, the best kind! My hair color turned out amazing and I was so grateful that Kayla was a rad chick with mad talent.

For the haircut, I went over to Robbie who gave me the most attentive hair cut I’ve ever had in my life. His passion for cutting hair was apparent. Even as I sit here, two days later with bathtub water hair, the cut makes it look like I styled it. That’s fucking genius, and a haircut everyone should have if they don’t like styling their hair everyday.

I highly recommend these two hair wizards. The haircut was $25 and the color was $60. For living in a city and getting amazing hair afterwards, that’s a very good price.

Image via hollywoodreporter.com

Lana del Rey has such great hair. I’ve been channeling her color frequency, and it is ballin’.

Beauty: Summer hair!!!

YUMMMMM. It's almost warm enough to eat popsicles, and then complain when the wind blows your hair into them. Wind is bitchy like that. Image via blog.zulily.com

Now is about time to change up the dingy, mousy, winter-worn hair and make it bright and beautiful for summer. There’s just something about winter that makes everyone’s hair look gross. Maybe it’s the cold weather or the fact that we’re so lost in winter depression stupors that we forget that roots exist and colors need to be kept up. Here are a couple of tips to get your hair looking summatime fly.

Lana del Rey has some gorgeous hair. I wonder what her vitamin supplement of choice is. Her blonde is soft, proving that total bleach isn't the only way to go for a lighter look. Botoxed lip optional. Image via fromgotowhoa.com

 Highlights

As it’s typically the trend to go dark for winter and light for summer, think about getting highlights. Sometimes people make the mistake of what I like to call mall highlights. Mall highlights are when the highlights are thin, frequent and about 50 color shades of different from your darker hair color. Don’t get mall highlights, even if your hair gets colored at the mall.

Second, highlights don’t have to be blonde-blonde. I see so many girls with strictly “blonde highlights” that it gets boring as shit, and they all tend to blend together like a fucking blonde Ashley parade. No thanks. If you have darker or light brown hair, try to lighten up your hair with warm metallic tones, like bronze or gold. They still give you the lighter hair fare without bleaching your hair within an inch of its life.

If you have blonde hair, fuck off. Just kidding! You can have your blonde Ashley highlights and your not-as-noticeable-roots cake too. Jealz!

Bangs

Sure. Bangs look fucking awesome on Zooey D. But the sooner we cope with the fact that we aren't Zooey Deschanel's bangs, the sooner we can start living beautiful, bang free lives that are right for US. Amen sistas! Image via nylon.com

Bangs are awesome. But for summer? DON’T DO IT. Seriously. Imagine: You’re sitting on the beach. You’re on a date. He’s cute. His wavy hair is blowing in the wind as he lights up a cig and offers you a drag. You’re thinking about cookies, but take the cigarette anyways. He looks over at you and gasps, as your newly cut bangs are frizzy, curling and halfway up your fore head in a sweaty pile of “never take me out in public again because I clearly can’t handle it.”

Ok, that guys a dick if he’s judging you for frizzy bangs. Dump him. Regardless, it’s such a pain in the ass to style bangs in the fall and winter, let alone a much sweatier season. Throw in a ton of outdoor fun, a tan line down to your eyebrow and constant hairs dangling drips of sweat in your eye while you’re learning how to bike in traffic. You’ll die looking like hair-do roadkill, and your family will be shamed forever knowing that you were the girl with frizzy summer bangs who died tragically at a four way stop. True story.

Maybe you’re one of those people who has stick straight hair and who doesn’t sweat. Then it’s really only down to the weird tan line and sweat trapping a ton of blackheads and new zit friends. Bangs are fun!

The most important thing to remember about summer hair is ease. You wanna be able to go to the beach, get in a river or day drink (that turns into night drinking) and know that your hair doesn’t need a lot of maintenance. Keep it simple, keep it fresh and if anyone tells you your hair looks frizzy, you fucking cut them, steal their wallet and run. Trust me. They deserved it.

20 something beauty: Raw egg facials

It’s SPRING! And that means it’s time for a face mask to get all your pale, dry skin into shape. Who the fuck can afford a facial?! Seriously, we make like, gas money and a sandwich an hour. The absolute best and cheapest way to do an at home facial for little to no cost is by using raw eggs.

Now, maybe you’re a raw shit phobe like my dear, sweet mom. Get over it. It’s not going to kill you, and it will make your skin look and feel better. Moving on.

Mona's drunk again. You're doing it wrong, M!!! Image via site.meikomusic.com

Raw Egg Facial

The raw egg facial is actually two facials. You use the egg white as a sort of astringent for your face, and the egg yolk acts as a moisturizer. Nature is like, so genius. 

Supplies 

1 egg (you can even make it an organic egg. Organic raw egg facial. Mind blown.)

1 fork

2 bowls

washcloth (one for each friend unless you really wanna share, or all of them have been dirty since September)

wine or cocktails

  1. First, get real. Pour your drinks.
  2. You and your gurlfriends/metroguys can use one egg between all of you. I don’t know exactly how many people can use the same egg, but who the fuck ever just has one egg between like 20 people?! We’re poor, but not that poor.
  3. Ok, so crack the egg. Separate the egg white and the egg yolk and place them into two separate bowls. Then, using the fork, break the yolk and stir it until it’s all creamy and mixy. Now you’re ready.
  4. The first facial you’ll want to use the egg white. Spread it around your face with your fingers. Avoid your eyes unless you like putting weird shit in your eyes. Let the mask dry, and then use your washcloth to wash it off with warm water.
  5. Now you’re ready for the second part! Take the egg yolk and spread it on your face all real good like. Let it dry. Then wash it off. You’re finished! Super easy, super, super cheap with a glow of beauty at the end.

It Girl: Kelly Osbourne

Beautiful girl! So jealous of her hair color. I'm afraid working in the Districts of Panem restricts me from dying my hair this color. Image via lovecatmag.com

We sort of grew up with Kelly Osbourne. She was in our lives on MTV’s The Osbournes and briefly as a singer. However, the troubled girl we grew up with has grown into quite a nice young lady.

First, I am OBSESSED with her hair color choices. Instead of being bright pink, blue, or whatever terrible dye job Katy Perry is doing (sorry gurl, you need a new hairstylist!), Kelly chooses lighter shades of purple, pink and grey to accent her ever changing chic personal style.

Love her. Image via blog.lockandmane.com

As far as her career goes, she has a drool-worthy gig as a Fashion anchor on E!’s Fashion Police, not to mention getting to work AND walk the red carpet at the events she attends. She’s really good as an anchor as well, so none of this “she only got the job because… xyz” shit. She’s charismatic, stylish and reasonably critical.

She is the poster girl for being able to turn one’s life around. On The Osbournes, we saw an out of control, unhealthy version of Kelly. Now she is healthy, in shape and in control of her life. A role model for anyone struggling with substance abuse and/or weight loss. Diet and exercise, folks!

Known for having a dirty mouth, Kelly has curbed a lot of her “fucks” but still keeps them going when the time is appropriate.

She was engaged to Luke Worrall, but kicked his ass to the curb after she caught him cheating on her. You go girl! Cheating is so passé.

All in all, Kelly Osbourne is our favorite working girl with great hair and great style. WERK!

IT GIRL. Image via splash and dailymail.co.uk

Beauty: Beth Ditto for MAC

YES YES YES!! This is all sorts of amazing. Beth Ditto, solo star and lead singer of the hawt band The Gossip, is going to create her own set of MAC cosmetics due out in June. She will definitely, positively not disappoint, I just know it.

I absolutely love MAC cosmetics. Their products are really, very nice. Much more shimmery and glittery than your average makeup line, which I find is important especially when it comes to painting beautiful eyes, wherever they may be.

Image via societeperrier.com

PS. I love how vibrant MAC makeup colors are. And again, as if I can ever get it out of my mind, this makeup reminds me of the Capitol’s style in the Hunger Games. Fangirl time finished. For now.

Image via maccosmetics.com

Beauty: Effie Trinket hair lust

Hair envy. Photo via thehollywoodgossip.com
Hair envy. Photo via thehollywoodgossip.com

I want light pink hair so bad after seeing so many Effie Trinket pics. It’s so subtle and classy, as opposed to this. Cringe!

There’s some kind of sick pleasure I get out of the fashion in the capitol from the Hunger Games books. It seems so fun, cool and classy without being ridiculous, much like every single afflicted suburban ‘alternative’ kid who dyes their hair bright green or red.

WANT. Photo via shortgirltallheels.blogspot.com
WANT. Photo via shortgirltallheels.blogspot.com

I really like the way Kelly Osbourne has been dying her hair lately. She’s a pretty and classy gal, and her lightly dyed hair adds some colorful personality while maintaining her chic style. The way we wear our hair is a fashion statement anyways, and lightly colored hair, like lavender or pink, is subtly fun.

Maybe fashionistas will embrace the lightly colored hair sparked by the Hunger Games capitol kids and maybe Kelly Osbourne. I LOVE the light pink and light purple hair colors. I WANT. Now only if it wouldn’t (probably, people are so judgy about hair color) ruin my chances at finding a grown up job. Blerg.