Amanda Bynes joins the ranks of Khloé Kardashian, Lindsay Lohan and Nicole Richie in finally getting her very own DUI. Next, a perfume deal, a personal conversation with Tori Spelling, a minted plaque from the LA county jail and perfume line with a 2-year reality show contract on E!
I guess her dad claims she wasn’t drunk that night. No matter what, girlfriend is looking a little rough, no? Pink hair, 10th grade eye liner skills and cheap lipstick. Maybe she’s researching a part where she plays a girl who is secretly a high class call girl and she has to take drugs to get through all the madness. Oh wait. Rumour has it Ms. Bynes is already doing all of those things.
Is Hollywood really that weird? Maybe it’s just rich people. Perhaps the combination of the two make it a modern day Gomorrah.
Gotta love and respect the fame cycle. Except no love and respect for call girlin’ and drugs. Rich men with no personality and a wallet full o’ cash for “high class” ladies are gross.
Madonna was the absolute coolest girl on the planet.
The entire movie is documenting Madonna as she completes her 1990 Blonde Ambition tour. After watching this early Madonna, you understand why she is the root of modern pop stardom. She fights through crowds of photographers, creates controversy to get in the papers, sings catchy yet solid pop lyrics and dances like the coolest bitch that ever lived. She is a true star. From demanding the sound guy explain to her why there is so much feedback to her waving to adoring fans outside her hotel room, she plays the original pop star role to perfection.
A good part of the film focuses on the people who surround her. Mostly backup dancers make up her day to day entourage, but once in a while people like Antonia Banderas and Sandra Barnhart show up to show famous people being friends with other famous people. It’s bizarre. Boyfriend at the time Warren Beaty was wary of the cameras and the whole act surrounding Madonna at the time, and you could tell he kind of thought she was bullshit or he was too insecure to be with a woman of her fame and character.
So fucking cool. Image via idolator.com
Some of the other people interviewed in this documentary, like her brother Martin or the people that work on her show, could hands down be a character on any documentary-style sitcom show. Her brother in particular reminded me of a Trailer Park Boys–esque Ricky crossed with Turtle from Entourage and Ben Affleck’s character in Good Will Hunting. Another woman, who was a long lost childhood friend of Madonna’s, wants her to be her child’s Godmother. Madonna graciously thanks her and says she’ll get back to her on it later because she’s so busy, all with a cheeky, “yeah right gurl” attitude as she blows out of the room because she’s famous and perpetually late. The definition of cool.
One could argue so many things about this documentary. That it’s Madonna doing Marilyn, that it’s at times hard to tell what is real, what is staged and what is exaggerated. But isn’t Madonna’s whole appeal (and that of Lady Gaga and any pop star as well) to act their part on the grand stage of life a mere 24 hours a day, 7 days a week? They want fame, they become fame. This is a documentary showing the personal aftermath of being the coolest, most famous and successful woman in the world.
Monday’s are bleak my friends. Filled with sleepy eyes, regrettable memories of your weekend second life and not.enough.coffee. This mixtape is cool and just weird enough to keep you on your toes during whatever it is that won’t keep you awake at work. If that doesn’t convince you, there’s Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” 4 minutes in. DO IT. Your morning report will be fucking kick-ass because of it. Promise.
Oh. MY. GOD. I can’t believe they let her put on that show. Honestly.
Image via Netflix
First of all, I am a HUGE Britney fan. I love the songs and her early choreographed dance sequences. I spent all of the 2007/2008 school year forcing people to listen to Blackout. But Britney Spears Live: The Femme Fatale Tour makes me really sad. And it will probably make you sad too.
It was forgivable in the beginning of Brit’s career that she lip-synced here and there because she was gracing our eyes with the coolest dance moves of the new millennium to the coolest dance hits by the biggest and most successful pop producers in the world. She used to put on a high-energy dance performance while acting out the song. Now she moves around semi-mindlessly, clearly lip-syncing and disappointing fans with her lackluster dance production to songs that were made for a pop-dance breakdown.
After countless knee-surgeries and a likely prescription for lithium (never forget Britney 2007), she can’t quite move like she used to. Which is understood by everyone. But continuing to lip-sync during a show where you’re not even heavily dancing is just getting absurd. What’s the point of the live show if you get little more than seeing a famous person?
Image via liveconcertevents.blogspot.com
The concert is full of Britney’s greatest hits. She performs them by walking back and forth on stage, moving her arms with our best 6th grade dance moves and lip-syncing the whole time. The costumes looked cheap. At some points in the concert, she would just stand next to things, like a pole, and touch them from time to time. She was also allowed to sit (after the exhaustion of “singing” and “dancing”) on a huge swing that a guy climbed while she mouthed along to a ballad.
This woman is either an autistic savant pop/dance music genius who has gone aloof or a seriously damaged famous person being medicated and put on stage to walk around perform because she makes lots of money.
Do not watch this movie. It will do nothing besides make you feel sad that Britney isn’t the Britney we grew up with and angry that somebody makes millions of dollars for walking around on a stage sort of giving a shit about what’s going on.
I love Britney so much. A part of her will be in my heart forever. But this concert movie is a harsh reality check. We better keep admiring her saucy dance tracks from audio sources only because watching it live is hard. You’ve been warned.
Fiona Apple’s cover art for her new album (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) “The idler wheel is wiser than the driver of the screw and whipping cords will serve you more than ropes will ever do” I heard it’s now the longest album name ever. In this day and age of breaking DUI records and most panty flashes in the history of the world, it’s nice to see an artist break a pretty neutral record. Way to go, Fiona.
Here’s some Fiona ear candy until the new album comes out. If it’s even half as good as Extraordinary Machine, we have nothing to worry about.
Total ex-lover music porn next to a rainy window. Also, she sings in Spanish! There’s our new language practice software, set to pop music ballads and 80s drums.
This might be one of the worst songs I’ve ever heard, and the worst 80s tribute video ever made.
Can you imagine JC showing this song to Justin Timberlake? Either Justin is a great liar who hates JC and wants his solo career to fail or JC is an idiot.
Here’s a video of JC singing an NSYNC song with Matthew Morrison of Glee. I bet JC really misses those NSYNC days. He sounds good doing NSYNC, not weird 80s creep songs that don’t even take advantage of his 4 octave range!
I’m knee deep in an all out NSYNC obsession and pop music BINGE right now. It’s weird and nostalgic and oddly refreshing to get away from super synthy heavy tunes that are plaguing all radio stations, except when Adele is on (so every 5 minutes).
But here we have an original of a song that was featured on NSYNC’s second album No Strings Attached . “Just Got Paid” was actually recorded in 1988 by a guy named Johnny Kemp. I’ve never heard of him before. Maybe I’ll begin my Johnny Kemp obsession right now, cuz this song is all sorts of funky funky jam.
This movie is ridiculous. Not in a fun way either. More like, Jenna Fisher’s character is a pretty unlikable character, but you don’t hate her either. She’s this weird mix of regular, not remarkable person that is totally bizarre.
Jenna Fisher’s character is married to some guy I can’t name who dies while she’s giving him a blowjob. If that isn’t cringeworthy enough, there’s a 9/11 theme throughout the movie, not even in a really poignant or observant sort of way. Jenna and her son begin to use 9/11 as the reason the dad died instead of “heart arrhythmia.” Shudder.
The cast is full of people you’d recognize but not be able to name. The entire movie is full of “hey… I know that guy… he was in that one movie…” And then not being able to name anything they’ve ever been in. A whole movie made of people you recognize but don’t know where from. It’s maddening.
If you feel like watching a pretty bad movie, with a more alcoholic and really depressing Pam-like “Office” character, this is your JAM.
Ummmmm…………. FUCK YEAH. Sampling Ashanti?! Now there’s a fresh person to sample and build a sick electronic beat around. Perseus, keep workin’ it like a champ. AWESOME.
Speaking of Ashanti, whatever happened to her? Just a voice behind some good production or what? That’s normally the case. Ashanti: Find some good producers and come back.
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