Jessie Spano and her caffeine pills (that could totally be a band name). One of the most classic, semi-harmless addictions of all time. And to stay awake to study for tests, no less! Most people take drugs because they hate their boring lives, not to prepare for a better future. Well done, Jessie Spano. You took drugs to a whole nother level. Proud of you, girl.
The latest episode of “Girls” reads sort of like a 20-something sexual PSA. HPV, safe sex, virgins and temptation are all the rage!
“I’ve got HPV,” could have been uttered while looking into the camera. Only nervous puffs of a cigarette were missing from Hannah’s storyline this week where it is revealed that she has HPV. Of course accusations fly about where this pesky persona non-grata came from: Either her shitty current boyfriend or her shitty former flame. Neat!
Her shitty current boyfriend says he didn’t give it to her because he already got tested (Liar! Because there is no general test for all kinds of HPV), so Hannah contacts her college boyfriend to let him know/accuse him of giving it to her, but since there is no test, she doesn’t really know where it comes from. On top of the HPV mystery (new Nancy Drew-inspired series idea?) her ex-boyfriend reveals that he’s gay, which is probably one of the worst things anyone could ever hear about their ex, male or female. Awkward sexual memories flooding back, deception and feelings of inadequacy are never fun, especially when you have HPV.
Jessa gets a babysitting job and smokes pot with the dad. Not quite how I remember babysitting, but that was 8th grade and I didn’t know what weed was.
The virgin thing comes up again with Shoshana. Being a virgin in your 20s must be nerve-wracking and annoying due to the whispered and dead-serious tone she always takes. It’s like she’s admitting to murdering someone every time she says it. She also spills that Jessa, like Hannah, has HPV. Except that Jessa has a couple different strains, because”All adventurous women do.” Confusingly inspired.
I wish Shoshanna would get some more air time, because the actress plays the part really well. She’s endearing and funny, and everyone has a friend like her. If you don’t, then ew. I could use more Shoshana storyline time than Marnie for sure.
Which gets us to Marnie. She hates her boyfriend so much, it’s hard to watch. I get that people get comfortable in relationships, but good god. Her bf shaved his head and as a surprise revealed it to Marnie. She fucking hated it, but I’m pretty sure she hates his face anyways and would hate anything on him, even the biggest diamond and creme brulee in the world. He then told her that he shaved his head to support a coworker with cancer, which prompts Marnie to yell at him for “making her look like a bitch.” Yeah. That’s what made you a bitch.
Later on, at her hipper-than-hip job at an art gallery, she meets some pretentious and short artist who is the dick she always dreamed of and everything her sweet boyfriend is not. He tells her “to not give as much of a shit” about things which is so condescending and lame but she fucking loves it. They go on a quick walk during the show in which there is a lot of sexual tension that drives Marnie to masturbating, standing up (what a feat!) in the bathroom during the art show. Weird.
This episode pretty much only redeemed itself when Robyn’s “Dancing On My Own” came on. Hannah and Marnie start dancing despite their shitty and weird days which was the only realistic part in a show that’s supposed to be “crazy real.” Here’s hoping the show gets better and the story-lines thicken up a little bit, or I think this show is gonna go away faster than Jessa’s pregnancy/miscarriage from episode 2 that was never spoken of again!
“Some of it was versions of things that happened to me and things that happened to my friends. I did once drink a tea made of opium pods,” Dunham said, referencing a plot line in the first episode. “It was the most pathetic attempt at a drug experience that anyone in their early 20s has undertaken.” Lena Dunham rocks and this show is gonna be amazing.
Girls: Its sex and New York city for new generation | Reuters.
Trying to take over the world. Rodents: They’re just like everyone else.
This is just SUCH A GOOD song. And Darren Criss is the least doofy looking person on Glee, so it’s good that he’s the one to cover Gotye’s “Somebody That I Used to Know.” Amazing. My interest is piqued with this one. Way to go, Criss. You’re dramatic, an amazing voice and a cool performance of a killer song.
Well not really, but they totally should. Then that show would be worth watching for a change, instead of Tyra only taking in the sweet yet bitter aging qualities of her own farts.
Tyra sucks anyways. When has that show EVER produced a top model? They should call it “America’s Next Top Former Model Becomes TV Host to Berate Young Aspiring Women Because She Doesn’t Have Anything Better To Do (And No Other Talents).” I’ve seen one former ANTM girl doing a tampon commercial or something equally as meh and that’s about it. This show producing nothing but wafts of bullshit from Tyra and billowing clouds of ego from her shitty panel.
And Kelly Cutrone is a bitch. Maybe being a huge bitch makes you good at your job, but there are ways to not be a huge ‘C you next Tuesday’. People are not assholes everyday in everything that they do. What a concept! To be nice. Oh, Hollywood types. Always trying to make a kerfuffle out of bupkis.
When Cutrone said “Ok I’m done talking to you now” after Louise said she was rude to her, is fucking hilarious. You can tell people working with Cutrone have been eating up all her sharts for the better part of forever. Get real Cutrone. You suck.
Way to go, Louise. You’re better than ANTM anyways. In fact, you’ll probably be way more famous because you didn’t take their bad career advice that doesn’t get anyone anywhere ever.
2PF 