Oh my god. Wait until the woman kicks in, you will most definitely know some version of the song, whether it be from the original (as far as I can tell) 1977 version or the Janet Jackson and Shaggy version (yikes, what a combo). Either way, I knew this song from the Shaggy/JJ recording and was pleasantly surprised to discover, like most songs from the 90s, that it had a couple predecessors that far outreached the latter version’s potential. The chorus is one of those rare batches of perfection, because it is so recognizable and has been sampled like a snack tray at your rich cousins wedding. This shit stands the test of time.
Off topic:
Fuck Janet Jackson for not being in the “Luv Me Luv Me” video with Shaggy. I mean, I get it. It IS Shaggy. But Shaggy was a legend for like ALL of middle school. I guess karma served her due to the fact that she hasn’t had a hit (that I can remember) since “All For You“, which is a great song but an awkward, very dated music video. I cringe at early aught video concepts, i.e. “super-fly urban gals” and “holy shit, millennium robots!” and money wasted on suuuuuper dumb effects that were probably really cool then but just make us uncomfortable now. However, I’m sort of glad our awkward, preteen years over the turn of the millennium were coupled with an awkward society in general.
You know, it’s always a good laugh when celebrities start a public fight. Because really, Die Antwoord using Lady Gaga’s image and likeness in their new music video for “Fatty Boom Boom” is generating way more buzz and attention around a video and a song that a lot of people probably didn’t care about before. Ahh, marketing! Little Monsters are probably watching it and simultaneously placing hexes on Die Antwoord from the upstairs bedrooms of their parents house. All in the name of views, statistics, and ad revenue.
Dems fighten words. Image via twitter.com
It is surprising that Lady Gaga’s ego got the best of her. No wait, it isn’t. The song for the vid isn’t even that good, and isn’t NEARLY as bangin’ as their first big US hit “I Fink U Freeky.” Yeah it sucks when people talk shit, but are you really gonna get upset about a zef jam group from South Africa who dress in black face/body at least once a week, that had surprising, probably temporary world success this year? Dayum. Ego-tastic.
Plus, way to pull an Eminem and talk shit about all the “popular, superficial sell outs”, while you’re using them to become more successful. What an original idea!
HELL MUTHA FUCKING YEAH. This will start your weekend off with the perfect amount of hip and pop. Now go do a line of awesome and beat the shit out of the weekend.
I don’t know how I feel about Xtina’s new song “Your Body”. It’s not horrible by any means, because it sounds just like most things on the radio right now, without autotune because baby gurl has that shit built in. But it’s not a “holy shit, that’s my new jam” kind of song. The hook is alright but forgettable, because as I am writing this post I forgot the name of the song and any melody it had. Not that I have an amazing memory, but still. If this song is any indication of her new album, we might be in a similar situation to her previous album fiasco Bionic.
PLZ FIND INSPIRATION TO BE GREAT AGAIN. Image via youknowyoucare.com
I just don’t get what she’s doing. If you have a voice like Christina Aguilera, you need to pick songs worthy of Christina Aguilera’s voice, not something Ke$ha took a next-morning-whiskey shit on and then passed over. Of course I’m exaggerating because the song isn’t THAT bad, but it’s not up to the standard that we all have in our head of Christina Aguilera. Remember Beautiful, or anything she did before Bionic? That shit was gold because it had personality. But lately it’s like she’s chasing trends that started 5 years ago, and it is NOT working in her favor. Diva legends don’t chase old trends; they hire talented enough people to create their next award-winning image for them create new ones. Xtina isn’t doing herself any favors by picking songs that are infinitely forgettable.
Where’d her Stripped passion go? Shit, even Back to Basics? Did being rich and comfortable ruin her ability to put out a good album? Or is she just an amazing voice with little artistic fury? Only time will tell. But if personality-disordered Britney can put out AMAZING fucking albums AND be on a TV show just like Xtina (what is this, 1999 again?), then I just don’t know about this girl.
(And please, there is no way there is an Xtina Britney feud because of their “warring” shows. Our Princess of Pop Brit-Brit is too medicated to give a shit about mostly everything.)
Seriously, FUCK Lana Del Rey. If Britney Spears, the famous lip-syncer and mental breakdown lady can sound amazing LIVE on SNL, then anyone should. Watch is. She’s AMAZING! There’s just something about her that you can’t look away from. Lana del Rey just kind of stood there too, and everyone was like “what the fuck bitch!” But when Brit Brit stands there the entire song, singing live, you just stare at her. Je ne sais quoi to the max.
But for real, this gives me hope that someday we may have a Britney back that is more involved in performance and music career. Watching her on the X Factor is weird, because she has psychological issues that leave her in a conservatorship where she can’t make any life decisions on her own. But she’s judging a HUGE talent competition like the X Factor? It just seems kind of weird. Almost like all the people surrounding her, even though they have her off the street drugs and on the prescribed ones, are exploiting her name and face for millions of dollars. Sometimes I just don’t know what to think about our B. Spears. I love her to death, but her life is fucking insane.
OH god. It’s like the gods of terrible music, hair and style started subsidizing meth to cupid workers in a heaven that looks like a back alley somewhere in Detroit.
You can bet your bottom dollar that these two are going to annoy the shit out of us in any way possible via reality shows, scat porn, you name it. It was reported that they have been together for 6 months, which is way too soon to know if you want to marry someone btw. Is this Chad Kroeger’s plan to finally become cool in America? Hahaha that’s so sweet. But going through Avril Lavigne is not the way to do it. Putting two of the most uncool, “seriously, who the fuck are their fans” people together is as confusing as a sex dream about a member of your extended family.
Love is love, so if it’s true to them, more power to ’em. Chavril? Oh sweet mother of god.
Girl’s got a great aesthetic. She’s an H&M model, a new artist on the scene with a retro vibe, and a totally hot babe. I like 3 of her songs from her debut album “Born to Die”. Summertime Sadnessis my jam right now, because fall is sooooo almost here and I’m over summer and all its philandering ways. In my quest to reevaluate my lukewarm feelings towards Lana Del Rey, I decided to do a little more research. Who knows, maybe her ethereal-old timey Nancy Sinatra angle just needed some time to seep in. Maybe not.
Image from Buzzfeed
In my research, I came across this article on Buzzfeed called “26 Meanest Quotes From Reviews of Lana Del Rey’s ‘Born to Die.‘” They’re not so much mean as they are a “what the fuck, commercial industry?! If you’re gonna push some shit in our face, make it better than… this.” She really does have an opposing magnets vibe. Most of her songs are listenable, but listenable isn’t a “HOLY FUCK IF WE DON’T LISTEN TO THIS SONG RIGHT NOW I’M GONNA FUCK YOUR HEAD.” And isn’t that what most mainstream pop music strives for? True, her tunes ain’t dancepopsynthpuke, but the target market is similar. That’s why her entire existence is confusing. You don’t market lukewarm tea to coke addicts. That’s like, marketing 101. You market cocaine to cocaine addicts and lukewarm tea to people who like to stay indoors.
I also wanted to watch her SNL debacle performances again, because I forgot what was so bad about them. Was she standing still too much? Was she pitchy? Was she boring? It’s so much more than that. This person does not look ready to have a career as a mainstream singer. She looks, acts and sings like she’s empty: a shell of a guaranteed faux-indie consumer success. And maybe she is empty. Sometimes we’re all a little empty. What’s weird is that she isn’t using that emptiness in her performance or art, which is the biggest cardinal sin of being an artist: use what’s screwed up about you and turn it into gold. She’s using what she’s not and turning it into ‘meh’. Good plan!
Kind of empty. Image via nydailynews.com
She’s also landed a campaign with H&M for fall 2012. The clothes look good, and again her aesthetic is appealing. But there’s not anything behind her stares. Her poses seems fragile and shy. Maybe in a pop world full of Lady Gaga, Ke$ha, Katy Perry and Nicki Minaj, LDR’s understated image is calculated as some kind of counteract to the exhausting, never-ending motion of the modern pop star. All of the aforementioned pop stars have a clearly defined personality/music/market that we all know and either love or hate. LDR severely lacks personality, spark, that je ne sais quoi that sends the right participants on a one way journey to superstardom.
She seems like a nice girl, someone you would get frozen yogurt with and watch a movie you’ve already seen 100 times. As for being some sort of pop star, we’re still waiting for a personality to emerge from behind the technically beautiful and commercially calculated image that is barely conceivable as human.
GOD DAMN do I love Robyn. She is so fucking awesome and authentic, which is a strange combo for such a famous and amazing pop star. I would definitely want this girl on my side in a fight. Or to talk to about a breakup. Or anything really, because she’s that fucking cool.
Me being lame as fuck, I only had her album “Body Talk Pt 1” and self-titled “Robyn.” In a fit of boredom genius, I decided I should finally download the second installment of her Body Talk albums. It’s similar to “Body Talk Pt 1” obviously, but just as fucking good.
I also LOVE In My Eyes. It sounds so fresh. Like cucumbers and sequins. Robyn is the fucking SHIT.
How does she keep dating people?! Why is anyone dating her? She throws every ex under the bus in a hit single. Which must be an awesome feeling for her. And for us to live vicariously through a successful scorned woman singing number one hits is kind of cool. We’ve all got some people to sing this song to. But girlfriend better start making some different songs besides “You Are The Biggest Piece of Shit I’ve Ever Seen” and “I Will Literally Ruin Your Career (Joe Jonas)”.
As for the single, it’s not bad. Produced by Max Martin I expected a little more oomph, but what can you really do with a girl who needs to stay with basic instruments because of her country background? I’d like to hear an electronica version of it, because this version sound like a watery song made just for radio (duh) but that makes the song so boring. Why do radio stations love light guitar,light drums, an ok melody and an ok voice? The world may never know.
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