Get lost in some weird shit.
Listen: Depois
Listen: Purity Ring “Grammy”
I HAVE BEEN OBSESSED WITH THIS SONG ALL WEEK. YUM.
Download this track “In for the Kill” by Dennis
This is the music project I’ve been working on for a year! Here is the first single, “In for the Kill”. It’s about fucking someone who is empty and kinda dead inside. Which we’ve all probably dealt with. It’s a surprisingly protective feeling though. You just want to make them feel alive despite their own wishes not to be. (And then you get over it because ain’t nobody got time for that!)
Here is the link to the Dennis bandcamp page in case you want to hear the whole EP. Bedroom made electropop from the midwest. Get wild.
Listen: The Beach Boys will cure your winter sadsies
(Yes, that IS Uncle Jesse)
I have been listening to the Beach Boys’ “Kokomo” on repeat, because winter has grown stale and bitchy as fuck. I have never even thought of breaking out the Beach Boys in the winter to remind me that warm places still exist somewhere in the world. Places where people can harmonize like a muthafuck and you’re ALWAYS tan and kinda buzzed. Heaven help us through the rest of winter! We need sun! And the vitamin D supplements are getting to be a DRAG (just kidding I don’t take them but I should be. They have that shit in late night candy binges, right?)
Anyways, “Kokomo” is the perfect song to get through the last dregs of winter. I’ve listened to it 5 times this morning already, BEFORE coffee. I always forget about the Beach Boys. But good god, they’ve got some amazing songs that everyone has known since they were learning how to walk. The BB have some ethereal quality that sends you to a land of sand and beaches with beautiful skies, little to no breeze, attractive people smiling everywhere, etc. I feel happier when I hear their beachy songs, even though I’m stuck in a house surrounded by dirty, old snow and cunty ice.
If you are in a winter stupor just like me, maybe the Beach Boys will ease your cold, dry feet and chapped soul as well. Here are some more lovely Beach Boys songs to escape with:
3 reactions I’ve heard about Justin Timberlake’s new single “Suit and Tie”
My friend Mark
My friend Mark texted me this morning, “This new JT is absolutely bangin!!!!! Hooooly shit. Sooo sophisticated.”
Perez Hilton is a JAG/rant about how much I do not like Perez Hilton
Sometimes, when I’m extremely bored and desperate for something mediocre to hate on, I visit perezhilton.com. A once veritable watering hole for bored teens/young adults is now a really dried up turd barely worth being called celebrity gossip (we all know you’re sucking up to everyone in Hollywood for professional gain and it is SO BORING). Anyways, I saw Perez’s opinion of Justin Timberlake‘s new song:
I mean, Perez Hilton’s entire being is steeped in everyone hating everything he says and does. So I’m not surprised that his shitty opinion of Justin Timberlake’s new song “Suit and Tie” infuriates me. I hate when artists get shit for not being EXACTLY like what already exists. That’s not innovative or interesting or exciting. That’s some un-creative, pop music fascism, Perez! Open up your world to different sounds other than ham farts and old phone messages from when Lady Gaga was using you for fame. #truthbomb
Me
JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE RELEASED NEW MUSIC. AN ALBUM OF SONGS FROM ONE OF AMERICA’S FAVORITE ARTISTS WILL BE RELEASED THIS YEAR. THIS IS EXCITING. I LOVE JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE AND TIMBALAND, AND CAN’T WAIT TO HEAR THE BODY OF WORK THEY HAVE PRODUCED. WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Consensus
The new song rox, JT rox, and all the sane, non-idiot, non-buttworms are into it. Not just because it’s JT (but mostly am I right?!), but because that shit is fresh and genuine and so desperately needed in mainstream pop music right now.
Listen: Chi Duly covers the Weeknd::: enotS gnilloR
THIS REMIX IS INSANE. The original version is called “Rolling Stone”. Chi Duly, a producer/DJ who remixed an album of songs from The Weeknd, re-interpreted the song as “enotS gnilloR” and it is an aural, clubby pleasure. The vocals in the original song are run backwards over club beats and it sounds really fucking awesome. AMAZING. Listen. Now.
JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE RELEASING NEW MUSIC, HOPE RESTORED TO HUMANITY
HOLY FUCKING SHIT ON A MOTHERBOARD. I can’t believe this is real. I can barely type fast enough. I’m so sososososo excited!!!!
Watch his explanation video here of why it took him so long to release a new album. Short version- he cares so much about music and he wanted to wait until the feeling was right about it to release something. It’s a lot more poignant and heartfelt in the video. And kudos to his team and friends for not leaking ANY of this to the press beforehand. When he tweeted this cryptic message last night:
that’s only when everyone started to heavily assume it was new music. But, after 6 years of hoping for a new album from one of our most beloved performers, we finally got the reprieve we have been waiting for all these years.
I have so many emotions on this Thursday morning. There is hope again in a once bleak and scary world. There is love where there once was nothing. There is an end in sight to the years of darkness that surrounded us all. Our Prince of Pop has returned. Welcome Back Sir. We’ve missed you more than can be conveyed in words or screams or ritual killings.
JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE IS MUTHAFUCKIN’ BACK. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU UNIVERSE.
Taylor Swift is single again, another day has its dawn
Just like the sands of time, Taylor Swift finds herself without an 18-year-old boy to hug at nigh-nigh time. Here are my thoughts:
A) Why is Taylor Swift dating 18-year-olds?
I can barely masturbate to anyone my age, let alone ACTUALLY DATE THEM. And seriously, an 18 year-old? What the fuck does he have going on besides having been world famous for a minute? Sure, he’s got that confusing, side-swept hair ‘n bang combo that makes tweens excited in a really uncomfortable way. And maybe he has some money now, but if my exact and unfaltering recollection of boy band money managements past are any indication, I know that young Harry probably doesn’t have THAT much cash floating around. There’s also charm, but homeless guys on the bus can also be charming so that’s null and void.
B) Why does she always have a boyfriend?
Girlfriend needs to take some HER TIME. Stop dating anyone who looks kinda cute and is kinda famous. There are plenty of kinda cute boys to ruin your day when you get older. There’s no need to rush it! Hasn’t she seen every episode of Sex and the City? Love and relationship anguish literally never ends unless you’re lobotomized or in a coma 4ever.
Maybe it’s super lonely being that famous. And sadly it kind of seems like she never had a lot of friends growing up either. But the reason I like being single so much is because I have AMAZING friends. Maybe she should work on forming strong and true friendships this year instead of jumping on every cute celebrity who says they like her Max Martin-produced songs.
C) This may be why she gets dumped a lot
Harry Styles was reported as saying that during their Carribean fight, T-Swift proclaimed “You’re lucky to even be with me.” Whoa, bitch. That is uncalled for. Definitely some ego that NEEDS to be checked. Don’t say that, not to anyone, ever! You are one human being who just happened to become famous by writing songs about failed high school relationships. So what, we’ve all written angsty poems about our high school loves gone wrong. You are successful, but you are not a god. Don’t say shit like that.
I’m not picking sides here and I really don’t even want to defend Harry Styles because I like Taylor Swift’s latest album, but what EXACTLY is lucky about being with Taylor Swift? That once the inevitable break up happens, she’s gonna totally shit on you in an amazing song? Or that everywhere you go, paparazzi are following the both of you? Or maybe it’s the stupid celebrity couple name that need to die in a sick a twisted death that haunts him in his dreams? Haylor. HAYLOR. HUG ME HAYLOR I’M RIGHT HERE BREATHING MOISTLY ON YOUR EYE LID.
Taylor: please, slow down. Be by yourself. It can be beautiful. Being alone is not sad. It’s fucking awesome. Pizza rolls? Anytime baby. Take a look into what you REALLY want in a partner, and not into their celebrity status or what kind of song you’ll get out of holding hands with someone you think doesn’t deserve to be with you. That’s kinda insane, girl. Get it together!
James Franco is the best ever: makes a Justin Bieber video
What the fuck! This is awesome. I wanna hang out with this guy and just MAKE stuff. It wouldn’t even matter if it was just paper cutouts of snowflakes that we pasted Ashley Olsen/Michelle Tanner’s face on and called them “Snow Rudes” or something. Oh wait that’s the middle sister Stephanie’s line, right? Who cares.
Happy New Year muthafuckas with Ellie Goulding
This is one of my favorite songs ever. Very fitting for the new year.
2PF 