What to eat while waiting for payday: Lemon Vegetable Soup

Image via activefoodie at tastykitchen.com

We are just doomed to worship the dollar, aren’t we?!

If you find yourself with 5 dollars left in your bank account for a whole week until payday, then you are just like me. Thankfully I’ve already done my grocery shopping for the week, and unfortunately that means I have to eat at home EVERY DAY (chinese food just ain’t the same at home).

This week, I’ve made a delectable lemon vegetable soup, partly because it’s inexpensive to make and partly because I binged on carbs all weekend and can’t look at another piece of bread for at least another week.

Lemon Vegetable Soup

The real beauty of soup is that when making something like a garden-variety mix, you can change the ingredients up a bit to your liking. Democracy! Maybe.

I meandered using this recipe as a guide. If you don’t like onions, you can throw in potatoes, or if you really like peas feel free to have a pea party in that pot. Or, like me, you used what you had because it’s allllllmost payday. (But I didn’t just have a shit ton of kale on hand, I’m not a freak)

Ingredients

Veggies are the new black. Image via eattheweeds.com

32 ounces of vegetable or chicken stock

3 whole carrots

1 onion

Two stalks of celery

1 green zucchini

1 yellow zucchini

1 tomato

Bunch of kale

1/2 teaspoon of oregano

1/2 teaspoon of thyme

salt, pepper and garlic to taste

1/4 cup of lemon juice, or one whole lemon squeezed

Steps

Pour the 32-ounce vegetable/chicken stock into a pot and place on medium heat.

Clean all of your vegetables. Begin chopping the carrots and onion into bite-sized pieces. Once the stock begins to simmer, turn the heat down to low and throw the onion and carrots into the pot. Let them simmer for 4-5 minutes.

While the carrots and onions are simmering, chop the zucchini, celery and tomato. Wash the kale and tear off the leaves from the stalk into bite-sized pieces.

Throw the celery, zucchini, oregano, thyme, garlic, salt and pepper into the pot and let simmer for 4-5 minutes. Then throw in the tomato and kale. The kale will need a minute or two to wilt into the pot and quit being so darn leafy. The tomato will get piece-y and that’s cool too.

Lastly, add the lemon juice and you’re basically finished. I like my vegetables to be softer in soup, so I let my pot simmer on the stove for about 10 minutes after I added the tomato and kale.

Also, all the ingredients are affordable. When making something of this size, it’s good to have tupperware and a strong will to eat the same meal a couple of times throughout the week. FUCK Yay budgets!

Television: Girls “Vagina Panic”

Image via HBO.com

Instead of living disgustingly bleak lives ourselves, we get a beautiful chance to live vicariously through other 20 somethings going through similar/worse problems that us. These are the days of Girls(And we get to wait to find the new episodes on the internet, or a friend living with parents who have HBO! Exciting!)

It is going to take a while to get it out of our heads that this show is not fabulous-fabulous like Sex and the City was. Sure, they both share uncomfortable looking shoes, sex and relationships warbles, but unlike SATC it is not glamorized in the least. Girls is less high baller fashionista and more like “holy shit, I need to make rent/I’m unemployed/I’m thinking about doing softcore porn to pay my cell phone bill/Who’s free to take me to my abortion appointment?”

SPOILERS!

Episode 2 of Girls is just as bleak as the pilot. Jessa needs to get an abortion, but flakes because it’s either scary, she doesn’t care, or she can feel the impending miscarriage happening. White russians + boys who call their mom are apparently the new coat hanger. The boy she’s making out with is directed to her underpants when the aforementioned miscarriage luckily appears.

And to those who haven’t vaginas, let me tell you that they can indeed be panicky. The episode has a panicked feel that is unsettling, but vagina worries are no laughing matter, especially when one of those matters could turn into a child.

While Jessa is buggin’ about abortion shit, her friends all wait at the abortion parlor (I’ve always wanted to call them that. They should serve ice cream there). Marnie is annoying because she hates her nice boyfriend and likes to be on time, while Hannah is having weird, plot-ty sex with her less-than-amazing sexual partner. Who, by the way, is the embodiment of the boyfriend or fuck-buddy of at least one of your girlfriends who could totally do better.

Lastly, Shoshanna, the chatty, perky one, reveals that she’s a virgin and shocks absolutely no one.

The episode, steeped with mediocre sex and abortion kerfuffles seemed like it ended an hour too soon. Maybe it’s a symptom of watching Tiny Furniture a couple of times, but I just expect to watch Lena Dunham for more than 30 minutes. I’m seriously considering not watching this show until I can watch all of them in one, amazing, Panera Bread-coma filled day.

Listen: Little Boots “Every Night I Say a Prayer” remixes

Image via soundcloud.com

Remixes are so fucking hot. They have the ability to open up songs to new dimensions. They change the energy, the feeling, the mood, the everything of the song. If you’re a Little Boots fan, check out these remixes of her song “Every Night I Say a Prayer” here. I don’t know if it’s the lyrics, the melody or the combination, but this is very reminiscent of early Madonna.

Tensnake Remix

Little Boots “Every Night I Say a Prayer” remix playlist

Weapons of mass destruction found in Middle East

Image via eater.com

Who knew it was Pizza Hut Middle East all along?!

So this exists now: Pizza Hut in the good ol’ Middle East has conjured up a pizza crust of either chicken fillets or cheeseburgers. If you guys didn’t know the American apocalypse was coming, this is a sign of it. How could this have NOT been made for mass circulation in the states?! This is like every Liz Lemon and stoner’s DREAM FOOD.

But seriously, can you imagine your toilet bowl after eating one of these suckers? Complete and total devastation. Havoc. Chaos. Toilet paper resources drained. You’re dazed, you’re confused, and you’ve just dropped the most futile bomb of your life. The only way out now is a hop in the shower to take over where the TP left off and wait out the cold sweats.

 Also seriously, this is like the best PR move EVER to get the “normal, everyday American” to like the Middle East. Well played, Pizza Hut, combiner of cuisines, cultures and nations.

Watch this now: Chester French’s “Black Girls”

An ode to black girls, by Chester French.

“This ain’t no fetish, ain’t objectifying no one
I reject your deconstruction of my taste
But ignoramus always look in my direction
They’re so frustrated I don’t keep it in the race
Like they’ve never seen this before
Like it’s 1954
But the whole world’s turning brown and who cares
I’ve got a thing for black girls
La, la la la la, la la, la la la la la
Yeah, my mom says
I’ve got a thing for black girls
La, la la la la, la la, la la la la la
You know I got some love for black girls
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Well I have tried to taste the rainbow in my life
I’ve sampled many different flavors I enjoy
It’s not to say I wouldn’t settle down with Sally
Dilly dally with her heart like it’s my toy
I’ve been to England a few times
And it’s common over there
Plus the whole world’s turning brown and who cares
[Hook x2]
(I’m ? so what)
(And I need to know, where’s all the love for black girls)
(No the girl don’t need no tan)
(I keep on ballin’ hard for black girls)”

If you dig like I dig, get the song for free at their website.

Shit boy, is that faux fur?! I'm already in luv. Image via theneptunes.org

Amazing: Take Ivy league classes for free

Image via hackededucation.com

If you’ve found yourself graduated from college and wanting to keep learning without paying a ridiculous amount of money, check out Coursera.

A very informed friend sent me a link to a website where you can take a very limited amount of courses from schools like Princeton, Stanford, University of Pennsylvania and U of Michigan FO FREE.

An excerpt from their website explains what the driving force is behind the site and free online classes from some of the top universities in the world:

“We are a social entrepeneurship company that partners with the top universities in the world to offer courses online for anyone to take, for free. We envision a future where the top universities are educating not only thousands of students, but millions. Our technology enables the best professors to teach tens or hundreds of thousands of students.

Through this, we hope to give everyone access to the world-class education that has so far been available only to a select few. We want to empower people with education that will improve their lives, the lives of their families, and the communities they live in.”

Read more on the background of Coursera from the New York Times here.

Image via simplerna.com

There’s also another website, Udacity, that offers limited computer science and cs-related courses for free. Their twitter account simply states “Democratizing higher education.” 

This is simply amazing and a really cool step into free education through the power of the internet and interconnectedness. The internet was invented to share pictures of cats for the sharing of information, and making education available to all through the seemingly limitless power of the net is a strangely progressive step, especially in a world that is obsessed with high profit margins and the Kardashians.

The basic format of the online classes are taped lectures and some homework assignments. So it’s like Youtube, but without all the bat-shit crazy commenters and with a little more elbow grease.

The course selection on both websites is highly limited and centered upon computer science and technology, which is useful in an every-growing technological world both personally and professionally. This is an amazing first step into the world of open source, free online education that does not discriminate, unless of course you don’t have an email address and refuse to register for free things. It’s nice to know that there are people in the world working hard to provide education and information to the people regardless of the personal economics of the masses. Right on.

Right now there are a bunch of computer science related courses that start today (April 23rd) on Coursera and more that start at different times throughout the year. Udacity allows you to sign up for their courses at any time, which is beyond convenient to manage in between everyone’s 2-3 part time jobs. Computer Science 101 anyone?! We can share notes!

Forever Young: Shelby Woo

Image via kidscotv.com

One of my favorite kid spies of all time. Can they get some reruns of this shiz plz?!

Like Threadless? Check this out!!

Image via threadless.com

Your boyfriend needs this t-shirt, so he too can feel as cool and fierce as an angler fish. Although hopefully his head won’t turn into one like this guy. Unless your boyfriend is ugly and you’re in it for the personality, good crepe-making abilities or money. Money trumps looks, looks trump style and style will be king if you vote for this t-shirt. It was made by my best friend’s boyfriend, who just happens to be the definition of 20 poor and fabulous, with a side jumping-out-of-trees and whiskey. WOO!!!!

Also if you’re into Etsy, check out his store for some sweet prints.

50 People You Wish You Knew In Real Life

50 People You Wish You Knew In Real Life

There are so many awesome people in this. Go to there. Now.

Forever Young: White Butler

Image via fuckyeahandysamberg.tumblr.com

Click it, it’s a gif. White Butler loves Bon Iver, and we love White Butler. If you’re lost, watch this.