Fashion: Fur

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Fur is the shit. There’s something that changes you when you put on a fur. Lights feel brighter, wine tastes better, and if anyone gets in your way they’re like half scared that you’re a prostitute with a switch blade.

I have a rabbit fur coat that I got from Savers in Rochester (MN). It’s second hand fabulous. There are a couple of seam rips and the thing sheds like a dog, but I can’t give it up because some rabbits died and why waste their sacrificed life wearing a fucking Columbia jacket and looking like a bad tipper.

And yeah, every time I think about how a REAL fur coat is made, I feel bad. I love animals. But I also eat meat and live in the waaaaay far north where a fur coat is actually used for it’s warmth. The added coat fierceness is a bonus. But either way, eating meat, wearing fur, having poor asian peasants make our iPhones for 8 cents so we can find the nearest Taco Hut; this world is fucked and we are big assholes. But that’s why faux fur exists: so you can only kind of be a dick human being, instead of a slightly bigger dick of a person. Progress. 

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Watch this now: Chester French’s “Black Girls”

An ode to black girls, by Chester French.

“This ain’t no fetish, ain’t objectifying no one
I reject your deconstruction of my taste
But ignoramus always look in my direction
They’re so frustrated I don’t keep it in the race
Like they’ve never seen this before
Like it’s 1954
But the whole world’s turning brown and who cares
I’ve got a thing for black girls
La, la la la la, la la, la la la la la
Yeah, my mom says
I’ve got a thing for black girls
La, la la la la, la la, la la la la la
You know I got some love for black girls
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Well I have tried to taste the rainbow in my life
I’ve sampled many different flavors I enjoy
It’s not to say I wouldn’t settle down with Sally
Dilly dally with her heart like it’s my toy
I’ve been to England a few times
And it’s common over there
Plus the whole world’s turning brown and who cares
[Hook x2]
(I’m ? so what)
(And I need to know, where’s all the love for black girls)
(No the girl don’t need no tan)
(I keep on ballin’ hard for black girls)”

If you dig like I dig, get the song for free at their website.

Shit boy, is that faux fur?! I'm already in luv. Image via