In defense of Ted Mosby

I get it. You hate Ted Mosby. His obsession with finding “the one” and confessing his love within 5 minutes of meeting any pretty girl who doesn’t have the personality of a bag of rocks is a little infuriating. His romantic style is definitely annoying to the point where many people couldn’t watch the show because they hated him so much. I used to be one of those people. But now I’m not. Right before the series finale, I must admit: I kinda like Ted Mosby. Stay with me.

1. It is so fucking easy to be cynical. Suspiciously too easy. Ted may have had his moments of hopelessness when it came to finding love, but he never actually gave up. As stupid as it sounds, we need people like that who keep reminding us that magic could exist, if only we could just stop being pessimistic, horrible cool kids.
2. He tried everything. I just went through the series for the first time this year after years of “ew, no.”  After a couple of seasons, a pattern of spontaneity emerged in Ted. Sure, it’s insane that he jumps the gun on any possible romantic moment that could ever be squeezed out of a crusty turd, but god dammit, the kid’s got spunk. If you ever needed someone to do something insane with, he’d probably be there with you.
3. He’s probably a freak in bed. I said that to a friend the other day and they were begging me to stop the imagery. Whatever. Ted has slept with so many people, he’s had to have picked up some good moves. Or a couple of STIs because he slept around a LOT. Either way, All Adventurous Women Do. You do you, Ted.
4. He’s a really good friend. He would do anything for any of his friends. Like, probably hide a dead body or not tell the police that you set your ex’s mailbox on fire. That’s respectable.
5. He has a job. He’s probably got a savings account you could steal from when you tell him you love him and he proposes a joint checking after like a week.
6. He’s not totally disgusting. Inside OR out, he’s a pretty alright dude if you can get past the incessant soulmate searching. But really, maybe people hate him so much because we’ve all got a little Ted Mosby living inside of us, wishing that a soulmate existed and that we would find them someday, and it would be the coolest day of our lives.

I haven’t watched any of season 9 of How I Met Your Mother, because binge watching is so much more fun than week to week. But for those of you who are watching the final episode live tonight on TV, I hope the episode is everything you dreamed a series ending and an insanely long love saga would be.