WHY: Why is Avril Lavigne still making music?

Avril Lavigne releases the least rock and roll song ever called “Rock and Roll”

avriL-avril-lavigne-19698389-1600-1200
SHE’S SO PUNK AND EDGY YOU GUYS.

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There are just so many questions surrounding the puzzling fact that Avril Lavigne is STILL GETTING PAID TO MAKE MUSIC. A modern day “Who killed Kennedy” of the pop music world if you will, except the exact opposite. Who the fuck is keeping her alive? And WHY GOD, WHYYYYYYYYYY?

I’ll admit I was totally into her song “Sk8er Boi” in middle school, cuz I remember taping it on a cassette tape from the radio and listening to and jumping around my room every night before bed. She totally fit into that anti-Britney/Christina/Jessica mold that was puking blonde highlights and belly button rings into everyone’s eyebalss in the early aughts. Avril made sense back then from a marketing standpoint: grab the attention of the girls who don’t look or act like Britney/Christina/Jessica and give them Avril because they don’t know who Blondie is yet. MONAYZ. Got it.

It is now 2013. And for the past probably 6-7 years of popular music, I am always SO CONFUSED as to why she is STILL releasing songs. Here are some thoughts:

GAHHHHHH. Everything grating in one picture. Image via justjared.com
GAHHHHHH. Everything grating in one picture: faux raybans, shaved sidehead, a fucking HAT. You make it too easy, Avril. Image via justjared.com
  • She’s engaged to Chad Kroeger from Nickelback. That’s pop culture relevant for a few LOLs. (I can’t even write that sentence without laughing a little bit. love is love, good for them, blah blah blah but still. THE most uncool pairing in the history of Canadian pop, right?!).
  • She signed some crazy awesome (for her) record deal back in 2001 that was crazy like 10 records or something.
  • Canada is secretly the most powerful pop music machine in the world (Avril, Bieber, Carly Rae Jepsen, CELINE DION)
  • God doesn’t hates us, he just doesn’t give a shit anymore.

Take a listen at her new Max Martin produced song called “Rock and Roll” below. It’s not horrible from a music standpoint because Max Martin is a pop music genius producer and can do no wrong. But Avril, really?! Still harpin’ on the faux punk “fuck the system, I’m rock and roll” pop canadian princess thing? WHY HASN’T ANYBODY TAUGHT HER WHAT IS COOL. She’s almost fucking 30. Drop the faux punk shit, plz. It’s so embarrassing! There are ways to still look edgy without pretending to be 17 and afflicted. Just ask Kelly Osbourne. Or (cringe) Pink. She manages to not look like a fucking idiot, puts on a fascinating pop trapeze show, and releases non-vomit inducing pop music. Or, you know, you can ask literally anyone who is 30, looks cool and isn’t Chad Kroeger.

Good grief.

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10 thoughts on “WHY: Why is Avril Lavigne still making music?

  1. I agree with your article but her new single is kind of horrible. Not fully horrible – a half measure of it. It’s so bland and uninspired. It’s too tame and not raw enough for something that says that rock ‘n’ roll still moves them, For most of the song, the rhythm guitar, bass and drums just plod along, giving the whole song the feeling of Avril performing with a real instrument karaoke machine. When the guitar solo finally comes, it’s too short and tokenistic.

    The only positive thing I have to say about it is the lyrics are clear and not distorted.

  2. You are just stupid why can’t you take a second to look around and see all the Avril supporters, the world is full of them.she should keep doing what she is doing just like Katy Perry.

  3. Who ever post this is a hater avril is amazing and the song rock n roll doesnt have to be rock n roll it is just letting u know that she still loves making rock n roll music and it also means dont forget about rock n roll and im happy god is keeping avril alive without her I dont know what id do avril is the #1 singer so leave her alone how would u feel if someone said someone something like that about u so there leave avril alone

  4. I love a Avril and her song rock an roll. i think she is a really good singer. I love her songs soooooooo much 😻😻😻😻😻😻😻

  5. You have your answer, as you can see she still has fangirls. Thats why she is still producing music…. Sadly I hate to admit but I am one of them and in my case its because I started following her back when her original album came out when I was in HS sometime and listen to way too much of the same music today as I did then (Im 28 years old) Would I like her new music if I heard it for the for the first time today and never knew who she was? Maybe a little bit (as it is catchy in that overplayed pop kind of way), but no where near as much as I do with the history I have of listening to her.

    Shes not the only artist/band that Ive been listening to for oh so long that releases a new album and I go crazy over just because it helps relive some of the few memories of HS for me that were actually good with some of my all time favorite songs (Goldfinger is another huge example for me). I hope Avril (and Goldfinger) NEVER stops releasing albums and I will likely never stop buying them (or at least bootlegging them if they get that bad). I just hope they get better instead of worse….

  6. I think the FUCK word tattoo on her arm now, is a JOKE. She is no hard ass punk person. I still listen to her lesser played older songs that have good lyrics.I was a band promotor in early 2000’s dealt with Punk,Emo,Ska bands who competed. Avril would have lost. I wondered what happened to the young talented star who did more then posture and stick her middle finger up at the world. How does a talented band member from Nickelback end up with a POP princess? I too, have these questions.

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