Christina Aguilera starring in: Another Bad Performance

This. Is. HORRIFYING. Christina Aguilera performed a medley of songs off her latest disappointing album at the AMAs last night and holy shit. This is not a comeback. This is an embarrassing attempt to be relevant.

I was willing to take her new album Lotus in my arms in the small chance that it was going to be like Stripped, or even Back to Basics. But good god, could it be any more apparent that she got the floor scraps from Rihanna, Britney and Ke$ha’s producers?

First of all, the first single off of Lotus (which got horrible reviews btw) is titled “Your Body”. Over the past couple of years, her appearance has shocked pretty much everyone and has been a huge topic whenever Xtina is brought into the conversation. So without listening to the song, you’d think it’d be some kind of body empowerment which is a pretty socially relevant topic. Maybe something a la “Born This Way” by Miz GaGa. But no. It’s about literally fucking bodies. The uncensored version sounds like she really wants to fuck dead bodies. Necrophilia ain’t cool unless there’s a teen novel that idolizes it. Did nobody tell her this? Is she really that hard to work with? Is she really that out of touch? (yes, yes she is.)

Boring. Image via billboard.com

The thing is, Christina is SO out of touch with what’s cool or even relevant, that she can’t even pull of a decent performance. Her AMAs performance is a shitty rip off of not only herself circa her “Beautiful” empowerment era, but a not-even-trying-to-hide-it rip off of Lady Gaga’s last album. Instead of empowering others, Lotus is more of a self-righteous, self-indulgent outcry of “I’m talented, I’M CHRISTINA AGUILERA, the never-as-famous-or-interesting-as-Britney, ipso facto, WORSHIP ME HEATHENS. And buy my shithole album, wink!”

I can’t wait until people stop reveling in her decade ago relevancy/talent and make her actually work for her name. Because for real, that performance wasn’t SHIT. It’s even more disappointing because everyone knows she could do better because of the voice. I mean, it’s cool to have a good voice, but Jesus CHRIST. Find some style. Have a relevant stage show. Look healthy. Do something besides remind us how talented you used to be, and how embarrassing you are now.

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