Food

Food: Yasso Frozen Greek Yogurt is fucking awesome

Image via teamyasso.com

This shit is so good. If you’re looking for a way lighter alternative to ice cream bars, these greek frozen yogurt bars from Yasso are a true delight. Sometimes ice cream can be heavy, super sugary and not congruent with yo fitness plan. I tried the strawberry ones and they were perfectly light and a hint of fruit that would be even more perfect on a super hot, sunny day.

Read all the nutrition facts. They are awesome. Like, 6 grams of protein and 70 calories awesome. Also, the same as eating one egg. Weird.

Doesn’t it feel good to be eating frozen treats again?! I’m sure there will be days when it’s banana float with caramel and whipped cream time, but for days when you want something light and sweet without all the added sugar, these are BOMB.

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Food

Food + Recipe: Garlic chicken avocado salad

Garlic Chicken Avocado Salad

Image via 20poorandfabulous.com

This salad was fucking awesome and yummy. As a money-crunched gal in the city, I’ve had to seriously curb my restaurant eating (dammit!). One thing I LOVE to eat out are really good salads. I’m not talking that iceberg shit with dry chicken, one grape tomato and a choice of 5 Garden Valley dressings. I’m talking amazing. My favorite it a roasted beet salad, but I have yet to try it homeward bound.

Anyways, I’ve thrown together an amazing and easy recipe for an awesome garlic chicken avocado salad.

Ingredients:

Roasted Chicken (I buy a whole roasted chicken and eat it over a couple of days. It’s an easy and yummy alternative to baking or roasting your own chicken at home. The one I bought this time was a roasted garlic chicken)

1 Avocado (you want a softish avocado when you’re shopping. Don’t buy a hard one because it will take days to ripen)

Romaine lettuce

Cherry or grape tomatoes

Red onion

Cucumber

Newman’s Own garlic and parmesan salad dressing

Salt + Pepper

Stacy’s pita chips or croutons

Directions: 

Wash the lettuce. Even the lettuce that comes “pre-washed,” because people are big fat liars. (Do I need to say ‘put lettuce on a plate’? Do it.) Dice up however much cucumber and red onion you want, throw it on top of the romaine and put the rest in a bag or container for other meals. Throw on a few grape tomatoes now too.

Image via womentribe.com

Cut the avocado in half lengthwise. If you don’t know the 411 on avocados, they have a huge ball in the middle. When you cut the avocado in half, you want to leave the ball in one half of the avocado if you want to save it for later. For some science-y reason, the ball helps the avocado stay fresh longer than without. If you wanna use the whole avocado, don’t eat the ball, for the love of God. Use a spoon to scoop the avocado out, and then dice it up however you please. Throw on salad.

Next, peel some chicken off of the whole chicken and toss on the salad. Pour on the garlic and parmesan dressing and finish with salt and pepper. Then I topped everything off with Stacy’s pita chips or your favorite croutons.

Then, eat your heart out.

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Food, Love

Food: Girl Scout Cookie Season

Tis the season, bitches. That’s right: Girl Scout Cookies will be melting in our mouths in a little over two weeks. You can even enter your zip code for the nearest Girl Scout council in your area. This is one fine American tradition, folks.

These cookies make over $700 million every year. That's a lot of awesome cookies. Photo via school.salescrunch.com

These cookies make over $700 million every year. That's a lot of awesome cookies. Photo via school.salescrunch.com

What’s your favorite cookie?! It’ almost too cruel to choose.

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Food, Infuriation

Infuriation: Paula Deen

Paula Deen has Type 2 diabetes. There’s the shock of the century! 

The 65-year-old chef is synonymous with butter, sugar and cooking whatever the fuck she wants using those ingredients. Perhaps one of the most outrageous recipes is her donut burger. Barf.

Anyone who watches her show or is familiar with her cooking cannot possibly be shocked that this woman has type 2 diabetes, which is caused by having an unhealthy diet. Lucky for Deen, pharmaceutical company Novo Nordisk offered her an endorsement deal to promote diabetes medication. How CONVENIENT, seeing as she was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes in 2008.

Is there really anything more soulless than having a TV show based on cooking and shameless consumption of fat, getting diabetes and hiding it only until a pharmaceutical company pays you to endorse medication?

Gross, Paula Deen. You should be ashamed!

Gross, Paula Deen. You should be ashamed!

What’s more is that she’s defending her eating choices and southern cooking. News flash, Paula Deen, being self righteous about eating like shit and being fat makes you look like a huge jerk. Being overweight and unhealthy is never cool or something to be proud of. Obesity is a huge issue with the health of Americans and it needs to be taken seriously, not encouraged.

Eat what you want in moderation. How hard is that? Really?

Anthony Bourdain, chef and super cool badass

Anthony Bourdain, chef and super cool badass

Chef, travel channel host of the coolest show alive and all around awesome guy, Anthony Bourdain, was understandably miffed at the entire situation. He tweeted, “Thinking of getting into the leg-breaking business, so I can profitably sell crutches later.”  What a rock star.

Paula Deen hilariously shot back at Bourdain saying that “You know, not everybody can afford to pay $58 for prime rib or $650 for a bottle of wine,” all while wearing an expensive chinchilla coat. So she hates animals and claims to be poor. Sociopath?

By the by, type 2 diabetes can be managed without medication by changing to a healthy diet and engaging in exercise. I guess it’s better for her fans to fill themselves with pills and butter than to eat vegetables and work out a couple times a week. You can really tell how much she cares about her fans, as well as other overweight Americans.

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Food

Food: Pizza bagels

20, poor and fabulous. Well, in-my-20s, poor and very fabulous. Minor details.

Having little money, an aversion to fast food and a pantry full of parent-friendly 16 grain bread and such, I am often forced to be very creative with my late-ish night snacks. 9:30 isn’t very late, but when you live with your parents and they love a 5:00 dinner, 9:30 can feel like a lifetime.

In between reruns of Sex and the City, my appetite, and thirst for wine to take the unemployed edge off, run rampant. I could take the easy way out and hit up Taco Bell, but I’m not that stupid. Eating that shit is stupid enough in the day light, let alone hours away from bedtime. So I find creative, sometimes awesome, oftentimes disgusting ways to fill my belly with healthier options right from my parents pantry.

Tonight it was, you guessed it, 16-grain bread, organic pizza sauce and pepper jack and mozzerella cheeses. Maybe it sounds good, maybe it sounds bad, but it wasn’t all it lived up to be. I’m no slouch in the kitchen, but sometimes when you don’t have what you crave, you have to get creative and hope for the best.

Yummmmmmmmmmmm, Photo: smellslikefoodinhere.blogspot.com

Yummmmmmmmmmmm, Photo: smellslikefoodinhere.blogspot.com

However, I can entrust you with a simple, inexpensive and amazing late-night alternative to 16-grain pizzas and a call to Papa Johns (but holy shit, that garlic sauce is fucking awesome.)

Late Night Pizza Bagels

There are a few ways to make late night pizza with things not involving Taco Hut. Bagels are an awesome option in place of 16 grain bread. But when it comes down to brass tacks, you’ve gotta do what you’ve gotta do.

Ingredients

Bagels

Jar of pizza sauce

Italian cheeses, mixed bag or cheeses of your choice

Optional: Meats, veggies, anything that can go on a pizza

Cut the bagels in half and place on a baking sheet. Preheat the oven to 400 F. Spread the pizza sauce over the cut bagels covering the surface and using as much sauce as you’d like. Then sprinkle the cheese over the sauce. Place any toppings you’d like on top of the cheese. Pepperonis work great, but I don’t know many people who just happen to have pepperonis on hand. Put the bagels in the oven for about 10-12 minutes, or until the bagels feel crispy and the cheese has melted.

My good-intentioned 16-grain pizza debacle.

My good-intentioned 16-grain pizza debacle.

I hope you enjoy your fool-proof pizza bagels. Try them, they are so so easy to make even if you hate cooking with all of your soul. They are seriously awesome, and a bajillion times better than the disastrous 16-grain pizzas I made tonight. Which may be attributed to my hatred of 16-grain bread.

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