Infuriation: Celebrity marriages and divorces

Photo via
Photo via


  • Demi Moore is in the hospital while Ashton Kutcher is drunk and partying at fashion shows and a Florence + the Machine concert in Brazil. (What the fuck is wrong with Ashton Kutcher. He’s gross.)
  • Kim Kardashian will reveal the moment she broke things off with Kris Humphries this Sunday on E!
  • Tabloids are making things up left and right and Katy Perry and Russell Brand: Sex addictions, drinking problems, tell-all books, etc.
Yuck. A cheater is one of the lowest form of humans, right above murderer and twilight fan. Photo via
Yuck. Take all that money girl. A cheater is one of the lowest forms of humans, right above murderers and twilight moms. Photo via

Breakups are super gross, for real. But the divorce rate in Hollywood disgusts me. It’s nearly every week some other marginally talented celebrity is getting press because their relationship is crumbling due to crazy infidelity, or the fact that they didn’t really know each other in the first place.

Can you imagine MARRYING someone you had only known for a year? Let alone six months? I’ve had iffy relationships with crappy hair dryers longer than some celebrities get married and divorced.

Relationships and marriage are very, very hard work. I won’t sit here and judge people who couldn’t honestly work out their differences and decided to get a quiet divorce. But when real-life marriage and divorce seems like little more than something to fill the tabloids and get a quick paycheck, one starts to wonder what the real motives are behind these fanatical relationships in Hollywood. (COUGH COUGH Kim Kardashian!)

This story line is SO played out, Hollywood. Like, shitty Katherine Heigl romantic comedy played out. Can’t we go back to plastic surgery accusations or something? It’s a little less soul-crushing than constant divorce battles.

What do you think about marriage in Hollywood?

Infuriation: People on cell phones

Witnessed at a Chipotle

We get it: You’re busy. You really need to check what your friend Sally’s cousin Jax said about the picture of your dog on Facebook. But when you’re ordering food from a human being who is making your dinner for you, I think you won’t self implode if you look up from your Blackberry and make eye contact.

Infuriation: Paula Deen

Paula Deen has Type 2 diabetes. There’s the shock of the century! 

The 65-year-old chef is synonymous with butter, sugar and cooking whatever the fuck she wants using those ingredients. Perhaps one of the most outrageous recipes is her donut burger. Barf.

Anyone who watches her show or is familiar with her cooking cannot possibly be shocked that this woman has type 2 diabetes, which is caused by having an unhealthy diet. Lucky for Deen, pharmaceutical company Novo Nordisk offered her an endorsement deal to promote diabetes medication. How CONVENIENT, seeing as she was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes in 2008.

Is there really anything more soulless than having a TV show based on cooking and shameless consumption of fat, getting diabetes and hiding it only until a pharmaceutical company pays you to endorse medication?

Gross, Paula Deen. You should be ashamed!
Gross, Paula Deen. You should be ashamed!

What’s more is that she’s defending her eating choices and southern cooking. News flash, Paula Deen, being self righteous about eating like shit and being fat makes you look like a huge jerk. Being overweight and unhealthy is never cool or something to be proud of. Obesity is a huge issue with the health of Americans and it needs to be taken seriously, not encouraged.

Eat what you want in moderation. How hard is that? Really?

Anthony Bourdain, chef and super cool badass
Anthony Bourdain, chef and super cool badass

Chef, travel channel host of the coolest show alive and all around awesome guy, Anthony Bourdain, was understandably miffed at the entire situation. He tweeted, “Thinking of getting into the leg-breaking business, so I can profitably sell crutches later.”  What a rock star.

Paula Deen hilariously shot back at Bourdain saying that “You know, not everybody can afford to pay $58 for prime rib or $650 for a bottle of wine,” all while wearing an expensive chinchilla coat. So she hates animals and claims to be poor. Sociopath?

By the by, type 2 diabetes can be managed without medication by changing to a healthy diet and engaging in exercise. I guess it’s better for her fans to fill themselves with pills and butter than to eat vegetables and work out a couple times a week. You can really tell how much she cares about her fans, as well as other overweight Americans.

Infuriation: Arizona schools ban books on race

In the words of Liz Lemon, “what the WHAT?!”

Book learnin' is GOOD, Arizona! Be reasonable human beings. Photo:
Book learnin' is GOOD, Arizona! Be reasonable human beings. Photo:

While browsing Perez this morning, I came across a post that says Tucson schools are banning books that discuss race. P writes “Later administrators told Mexican-American studies teachers to stay away from any class units where ‘race, ethnicity and oppression are central themes.'” OMFG.

Maybe the unreasonable and censorship-happy Arizona lawmakers are banning themes of oppression so Arizona students don’t notice that oppression is exactly what is going on in their state in terms of immigration laws.

It’s so confusing as to why anyone would support not talking about race, especially in a state where race issues and tension seem to be very, very high. What this state needs more than anything is cultural and historical understanding between the races, not completely denying students the right to learn about race in America.

This news however is not surprising given the past racism and general jerkheadedness that seem to live and breed in AZ. Last month, a video hit youtube that was posted by some highly racist teens in Arizona that blasted “illegal immigrants and Mexicans” as being less than human as well as other truly horrific things. Check out the terrifying video here if you haven’t seen it before: Arizona Racist Teens.

America needs to have a little state intervention with Arizona. Maybe it could be a new reality show on TLC: “All American Racist Intervention” is a good start. I’m absolutely serious. What’s the difference between exploiting alcoholics and Teen Moms that make themselves look nuts on TV (cough, cough MTV) and exploiting racists by schooling them on how to not be total poo-poo heads?