Forever Young

Forever Young: Justin Bobby

Image via mtv.com

Justin Bobby, the weirdest addition to The Hills cast ever. He’s part surfer dude, part really insecure hat aficionado, and part brain-dead fart face that could double as a model.

May he forever be a smelly-looking gem of fake reality show history.

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Television

Netflix nightcap: The Hills

Image via theneave.com

The Hills are alive, with the sound of poor acting

Oh my GOD. Reality TV at it’s fakest and finest. In a world where the Kardashians plague anything and everything from credit cards, to jeans, to mothafuckin’ Kanye, The Hills is a refreshing step into the world pre-total serious shitfest reality tv. Think of a world before Teen Mom, Jersey Shore and Twitter. Yeah. Fucking. Bizarre.

First of all, Lauren and Whitney must be the most grounded human beings to ever have been on reality television. Through their internships at Teen Vogue, you see them getting demeaned by a demanding yet totally baller boss, Lisa Love. Lauren is also going to school and trying to balance a ‘normal’ life in front of the cameras, unlike the Kardashians who are millionaires a billion times over and flaunt it to no end. (Kim’s Bentley episode, anyone? “THIS IS MY SPECIAL DAY!!!!! AND YOU’RE RUINING IT KHLOE!!!” ahahahaha!)

Image via jkmasylum.blogspot.com

Looking back at a reality show that kind of started the heavily scripted reality genre that we all know so dearly now (hello Real Housewives of Whatever), The Hills seems so, so tame. Granted, I’ve only seen a handful of episodes from the first season. But so far I haven’t seen anything too obscene except an alcoholic 18-year-old Jason, a famewhore 19-year-old Heidi and rich kids buying each other diamonds, puppies and Chanel bags at Christmas.┬áGawd, rich life in LA is so hard!┬á

If anything, The Hills is everything you need to realize what kind of person in LA you’d want to be (which is totally more important than finding a third job to be a real working adult). Lauren is a grounding snap back to reality (for reality tv that is). A real hard worker with real bad taste in men. Whitney is the good friend you want and want to be, who is nice and gets nice things in return. Audrina is the girl you try not to sound like in public, and Heidi is everything you wish you never become (because we all saw what she became and that shit is scary sad).

The boys on MTV are so shitty

What’s up with MTV never having any strong male characters on their shows? I can’t think of any. Jersey Shore=fake italian alcoholics. Teen Mom=shitty teens. Laguna Beach/The Hills=rich, drug addicted babies. The Real World=alcoholics who need serious therapy. Where the strong male characters at, MTV? Come on! The guys are mostly weak, insecure and reeeeally abusive. Being “passionate” is not an excuse for being verbally abusive, Jordan (Heidi’s bf from the first season. A total turd monger butt munch, smelly dirtbag of a sockface)

I know reality TV is not a great place to learn about relationships, especially┬áon MTV, but for real. This shit is depressing. Can the current shitty teens of Amurrrica get ANY dudes who aren’t total cheating, mentally abusive sociopaths? Good GOD. Plus, addicts are only funny to a certain point, MTV. Exploiting them is rude as fuck.

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