OH GREAT. Good to know people in the DR give more of a shit about a fetus, magical Catholicism and being fucking idiots than a live person. Now the 16-year-old who happened to be pregnant AND have cancer, are both dead! Way to go, Dominican Republic. Because of your politicians and superstitions about killing an undeveloped human, you’ve killed a fetus (the thing you were so fussy about not fucking up!) AND a real live human with a serious illness! That must feel good. Your God must be proud. A great day for the Dominican Republic.

Fucking assholes.

The Pregnant Teen Cancer Patient Who Couldnt Get Chemo — Or an Abortion — Is Dead.

OH GOD. The month where all summer activities become stale. The clothes are worn. You don’t even think about the sun anymore, because it’s there all the time. Then when it goes away, it’s like “what the fuck is going on.” Fall clothing hasn’t HIT THE FUCKING STORES YET. All the shitty summer clothes are on sale. Summer romancing is starting to fuck with your life. This is summertime sadness my friends.

ALL HAIL THE RETURN OF FALL. Gaga’s ready. Are you?

Image via extratv.com

NBC is SO dropping the ball with the Olympics coverage of London 2012.

First of all, why would they want to impede ANYONE from seeing the beauty that is the olympic athletes? Good lord, those men and women are supa fine. Ryan Lochte, however mundane yet innocent his twitter feed may be, is one good lookin’ piece of gold medal history. And the swimmers! Ye Shiwen just broke a world record AND was faster than all the boys, all at 16! (Of course now there are doping allegations. But fuck that until it’s proven bitches, cuz ladies rule and boys are slow)

Second, the Olympics are a world game. It’s supposed to be a global celebration of sport that we can all enjoy and root for our countries. But how are we supposed to do that when NBC has the absolute worst producers ever? I don’t wanna watch Jeopardy Kids in the middle of the day. Where are the game reruns bitches?! Thanks to not being able to mold my schedule to the shitty NBC scheduling of the Olympics, I missed women’s gymnastics which is THE SHIT. Who knows how many countless people are feeling the same strife.

I bet they use Internet Explorer over at NBC. Figures. Image via fitperez.com

Now, you’d think “Hey, it’s the age of the internet! They must be live streaming and uploading videos of the games to rewatch constantly!” NOPE. In an attempt to show my friend the AWFUL London opening ceremony, I was aghast. The footage was nowhere to be found. Not on NBC’s website and not in any pages I could find in the days following the ceremony.But lo and behold, Beijing’s was on NBC’s website. Thank God, because that’s fucking relevant!

On top of that, you have to have a specific cable subscription to live stream on the internet. Is NBC in such bad shape that they can’t afford to live stream the Olympics?  Would they not make more money from running live streaming internet ads? Who dropped the ball on this?! It’s 2012 for God sakes. You can watch your neighbor jerk off on a webcam, but for some ungodly reason you can’t find good Olympic coverage on the internet. SO. LAME.

Let’s hope another big network gets the games next time, because this is excruciating. Feel free to voice annoyances over at their lackluster twitter!

Oh my god. Oh my god. Really?! You know, babies tend to not give a shit about anything except discovering life and putting dirty things in their mouths and throwing up on people (that was yesterday awesome). How weird and insecure of the parents to dress their kid in a WIG so people can tell that it’s a girl. WEIRD. JUST TOO WEIRD. I’d rather watch two girls one cup again than see a baby wearing bangs so the mother isn’t insecure about something that absolutely does not matter.

Let the babies be babies for god’s sake!

Also, can you imagine how hilarious and embarrassing it will be when these kids grow up and realize their mom made them wear a wig? I can already feel the therapy bills. Neat!

Baby Bangs! | BabyBangHeadBand.com.

Oh god. Oh me oh my. This exists. You don’t have to watch it unless you don’t care about the next 3 minutes of your life. I don’t hate her personally or wish her ill, but professionally what the hell is she doing?! Who is her fan base? It’s another Pink situation. They’re huge but nobody you know listens to them. It’s like they are pop stars of an alternate universe that you will never enter because DUH Britney, Madonna and Gaga are the holy trifecta of ours.

Also, Lavigne shaved her head in a skrillex type cut. WHOA. SOMEONE’S EDGY OVER HERE. REALLY, REALLY EDGY. DAMN.

And really, what is the point of that music video. She lights a flower on fire in a creepy warehouse (girl, only people on heroin/meth/rusty nail fetishes stay in places like that. And you date Brody Jenner. Come on. You’re happy. Stop this weird non-edgy edgy shit. For ALL of us.

I miss the Sk8er Boi days. Sigh!

WHOA. EDGY. REALLY REALLY EDGY. Image via huffingtonpost.com

Next these turd munches will snort roasted beet salads and stolen truffle oil for their fix. Fuck that. Please don’t snort things I love.

10 Terrifying Reasons Why You Should NEVER Get High On Bath Salts.

“…We are in a national, and perhaps global, Guy Disaster Mode that needs to be noticed and solutions advanced to fix a totally novel phenomenon, which will only increase in intensity and breadth without the concerted efforts of educators, gamemakers, parents, guys and gals. It’s time to press play and get started reversing these trends.”

via The Demise of Guys: How video games and porn are ruining a generation – CNN.com.

Image via buzzfeed.com

WTF!!!! I don’t care about attachment parenting. There’s something in that kid’s eyes that says “When I’m 38, I won’t be able to fuck you without thinking about my mom.” WEIRD SHIT DUDE. Weird start to a Thursday.

Time Magazines Provocative New Cover

Fuck you Kotex! Mold is not very hygenic, and it’s really, REALLY wrong of you to think moldy tampons are ok and safe for women.

Read her blog here!!!!

Image via parrforthecourse.com

“By all means, Jenelle, don’t go too big. You wouldn’t want to turn into a cartoonish representation of everything wrong about a society that rewards morons with fame and wealth for making a TV show about their terrible life decisions that, in turn, a soulless network sells to advertisers schilling candy and shoes to teenagers who think getting knocked up is the thing to do because calculus is hard. A ‘C’ cup will still allow you to keep that “I’m a celebrity, but I’m not above blowing you for a dinner as long as the restaurant doesn’t have a drive-thru window” look that won’t draw stares.”

I LOVE the Superficial. Hilarious. And spot on.

‘Teen Mom’ Jenelle Is Getting Implants, Too, Now – The Superficial – Because Youre Ugly.