Foiled yet again! Justin Timberlake NOT releasing new album

Instead of making music, Justin is playing pretend in Ken wigs in his backyard. Or something. Image via

Just like the sands of time, rumors of a new Justin Timberlake album have resurfaced into our lives. And, just like disappointing fellatio, JT takes any hope of musical cunnilingus out of our dry, tired hands.

Come on, JT. Give the people what they want. Cornrows, amazing costumes and Timbaland-produced beats. With every passing year, the pressure and excitement grows. Which is probably annoying for him, and definitely excruciating for us. It’s like a boner that won’t ever stop, and won’t ever see a beautiful, majestic release.

PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD JT. Do it for all the boners in America. We are dying.


  1. As Told by Brianna · August 7, 2012

    The most disappointing thing I’ve heard all week.

  2. As Told by Brianna · August 7, 2012

    Also, I just noticed I’m in your blogroll! That’s awesome… thank you!!

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