Television: Ok, is this seriously a show? Bunheads. It’s called Bunheads.

8 Jun

Screengrab from thesuperficial.com

Bunheads. Is. The. Name. Of. This. Show.

Are you kidding me. OBVIOUSLY this is a summer schedule show on ABC Family, and it is called BunheadsIf I wasn’t gagging at the sight of “ABC Family” already, I’d definitely be gagging at this entire premise.

Lemme guess every single plot line:

  • Boyfriend trouble because practice is so tough and grueling. Also, boyfriend is a huge piece of shit.
  •  Grades are slipping because practice is so hard
  •  Pressure from mom and dad to get into a good school but practice is hard it’s eating up all the time
  •  Anorexia/bulimia problems cuz bunheads gotsta be skinny
  • Some kind of drug/alcohol overly dramatic related arc that makes people who drink alcohol look like Satan
  •  Aaand a rivalry between two girls (or a group) to better reinforce for the generations to come that nobody can get along, and women should be pitted against each other for all eternity until the gates of hell explode and ruin all of our silk things.
Here are a couple better show premises for Bunheads that would be 10 times better:
  • Princess Leia fanatics who have strange addictions
  • Chronicling the life and times of Jimmy Bunhead, an existentialist living in his parents’ basement
  • A reality show about Cinnabon workers and their sad, pathetic day-to-day in store and dealing with “charming” regular Cinnabon clientele
  • People who literally sit in front of the screen for 17 minutes with sticky buns taped to their heads and sing “The Cupid Shuffle”, the worst song in the entire world

Hollywood is snorting bath salts. That’s the only explanation for this. Fuck Florida, the zombie apocalypse is coming straight from LA.

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4 Responses to “Television: Ok, is this seriously a show? Bunheads. It’s called Bunheads.”

  1. Assumptions June 8, 2012 at 10:03 pm #

    lol, hopefully you actually watch the pilot and come to a conclusion that isn’t based on a trailer. It’s created by Amy Sherman-Palladino, the show isn’t going to be dumbed down trite like the other trash on ABC Family.

    • 20poorandfabulous June 8, 2012 at 10:27 pm #

      That name sounds familiar. I won’t hold my breath though, the title is so, so cringeworthy, even for summer programming! I guess they’re trying to make ballet a thing now. Breaking pointe on the Cw is also ballet themed and soooo b-level reality, if you can even imagine such an atrocity!

  2. starkwe June 8, 2012 at 10:31 pm #

    My first thought was that it was about a bunch of evangelical Christians in long khaki skirts. Who knew dancers were also called bunheads?

  3. Leonard Marks July 2, 2012 at 10:55 pm #

    great post

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