On the fence: Christina Aguilera

11 May

Image via kovideo.net

Christina Aguilera has definitely been going through a poo-poo streak as of late. Her last album release was a strange mix of WTF and “I’m sexy dammit, I’M SEXY!!!” She’s gained some weight to the joy and chagrin of many, been called a drunk, a bitch, a cow, got her period at Etta James’ funeral, went through a divorce and had her latest album bomb. Holy moly. It’s all to a lesser degree compared to our Brit-brit, but still. Xtina has been in some shitty shit too.

Nevertheless, all the shit-talking that has been surrounding her poo-poo attitude about everything, I decided it was time to examine what makes Xtina so very X-ey about her.

The Evidence

Xtina has never come off as a nice, personable person. At her high school prom, everybody walked off the dance floor when her single “Genie in a Bottle” came on. Granted, high school kids are total jealous freaks who would obviously be pissed that their science fair project on carpet cleaners got upstaged by the voice of a generation. But maybe she was just rude too and everyone hated her. 0

Stripped was quite possibly one of the best pop albums of the last decade. For real. +20 

Image via amazon.com

Her diva attitude is no surprise. When you have a voice like Christina, it’s understandable. But the girl isn’t some weird genius musician who can get away with it. She forgets lyrics to the National Anthem, makes The Voice do reshoots (allegedly) if she looks fat in any shots and hasn’t put out a hit song by herself in many years. -5 

The last one is ok, but her style has always sort of been…off. Image via hollywooddame.com

She doesn’t have any good luck when it comes to publicity. Mtv totally screwed her on the publicity front during the infamous 3-way-ish kiss between herself, Madonna and Britney. Brit and M kissed first, and during Xtina’s smooch the camera cut to Britney‘s fresh ex-bf Justin Timberlake (GAWWWWWD I miss the Britney-Christina-JT drama!! Those were the days) Sadsies! 

Her latest album Bionic was a complete conceptual mess! Remember that song MIA wrote for her and she totally botched?! She tried to sing like MIA and it did not work. Which sucks because it’s a cool song but, no. -3

She went on tour with Justin Timberlake. The Stripped/Justified tour. WHY DIDN’T I GOOO!!!?!?!? +6

Her style is super weird. Granted many in the bubblegum pop era dressed like shit. But X-tina has never been a fashionista, and that’s failing part of your Pop Star Grade, honey. -1 

She sings live in concert. Which, sadly, for a singer, is something cool and impressive. +10

Her feud with Adam Levine is weird. How could anyone feud with the lead singer of Maroon 5, unless it’s all staged drama for ratings and to keep people talking about them (smart move, guys!) -2

The Score

25. I guess she isn’t all that bad. Her style is bad, but Stripped is one great pop album, and she has a nice voice. Good luck I guess?

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One Response to “On the fence: Christina Aguilera”

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Music: Christina Aguilera’s new song is no comeback material « 20poorandfabulous - September 17, 2012

    [...] hire talented enough people to create their next award-winning image for them create new ones. Xtina isn’t doing herself any favors by picking songs that are infinitely [...]

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